A & Me -- Cut Off My Arm, College.

It's 11:31 and I'm feeling shyt. I'm sitting home alone tonight. And I can't even watch True Blood online. (To the tune of "Backfire at the Disco" by The Wombats, if you please.) Note: This video is brilliant. People are jerks. I love Frosty's.

But seriously. Quirky song lyrics aside, I have something to say: I hate college. Why do I hate college? Well, for 3 weeks (2, but I'm blaming it for them not broadcasting on Labor Day as well) I hate it for keeping me away from my HBO. And my True Blood.

There are several things I've learned while REALLY waiting for True Blood. That's past Sunday, past 9 p.m. and past the point of my sanity. And I took the time to write them out in 10 colorful steps. You can actually pinpoint the moment I lost my mind.

Here I am, in my room in the semi-darkness in front of the computer, pacing back and forth stuffing my face with green grapes and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish (Original Style, fyi). And I feel like a mental patient. I'm compelled to eat these grapes, which are just sitting in my fridge, and I'm reminded of a story about my brother.

When he was little, after returning from the grocery store with my mother, he sat in front of the television with a bag of green grapes. He proceeded to eat the entire bag in one sitting and then threw up the same grapes all over himself.

Now, why am I reminded of this story? Because I'm getting pretty crazy. That is, I've eaten an entire bag of Goldfish and the grapes are just sitting there looking at me. I know that road leads to green vomit, but lack of True Blood has addled my brain.

But there are still lessons learned from this experience:

1. I thought waiting a week to watch True Blood was bad. Watching the hour between 9 and 10 o'clock tick by while you stare at the wall because you have no HBO is like watching someone cut off your arm and repeatedly beat you with it.

2. No HBO is the equivalent of being exiled to a Leper colony. At the time when you most want to vent, you're banned from all online outlets. That means Facebook, your favorite blogs and ESPECIALLY Twitter. (That includes BlogTalk. Frowny face.)

3. When you're waiting for an upload, sitting in the dark in front of your laptop, refreshing web pages every 40 seconds seems like a good idea. (For 3 hours.)

4. This waiting period feels somewhat like I'd imagine labor feels. There's shaking, sweating, mood swings, cursing and a sudden need for drugs. (Drugs = True Blood in this case.)

5. No True Blood Sunday at 9 p.m. makes me want to eat chocolate and ice cream more than any failed relationship ever could. If it ever gets cancelled, I'm padlocking my fridge or gaining 45 pounds.

6. Never knit while you wait. True Blood anxiety = Many dropped stitches and unhappy feelings.

7. People talk about masturbation in chat rooms more freely than they should. They're also stupid, mean and have terrible spelling and grammar.

8. I'd feel better about humanity if they didn't talk so much about boobs.

9. I get angry at people who just like Eric for his hotness or jumped on the bandwagon late in the game (after the dream sequence, much?). Chat names are usually something along the lines of Ericslover, Eric4Me and EricsBoyfriend. I feel like the best girl friend seeing her boy date another girl (or guy) when she wants him for herself.

10. I hate college. But only when it comes between me and my True Blood. Like sisters. I think those girls would be ripping off each other's heads if their man was Eric Northman.

There will be a recap when frickin' Niall Brigant sends a miracle my way. I've been working on the Newlin angle, and I think all that'll save me now is a little Fairy magic.

Sayonara from getting beaten by my own arm by my stupid education. More people would go to college if there was HBO. Hey, it goes along with my theory that taping Skars to my homework will improve my GPA. Melancholy thy name is Alison.

UPDATE: The end of this story? It's 1:04 a.m. I watched a jumpy grainy video with (thank God) good audio after several anxious hours. I also missed the last 15 minutes. Which I'm pretty sure was mostly Eric. And I'm also pretty sure that this time, that last bit of lovely True Blood actually exists. Unlike last week.

The end. Still armless. Like frickin' Jane Bodehouse when she's finished with that machete.

UPDATE: 11:15 a.m. Monday. Saw it all now. Recap will be up later tonight. Wtf, True Blood? Wtf. Giant egg?

Webtastic -- Date My Avatar

I love The Guild. It's the pet project of Felicia Day (Of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and last season Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame). Here's a new music video from The Guild folks called, "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar." This is so funny. And I am jealous of their outfits. What does that say about me? I don't know, but I might be frightened if I wasn't laughing so hard. See The Guild on YouTube here or on The Guild Website here. New season August 25! (Also Alexander Skarsgard's 33rd Birthday!)

Now you can also see all of the videos featured on Record Cozy and some that are personal favorites of mine, or just plain amusing, on the new Record Cozy Channel on YouTube. I hope I inspire much time wasting! (Videos for knitters, music enthusiasts, Truebies, Skarsgard fans, and more await!)

The Guild -- +5 Awesome

UPDATE: I was originally going to post this alone, but when "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar" sprung up, I went for that instead. But I can't keep looking at this post anymore, so I'm going to pretend I published this way back when and not on (8/21/09 12:06 a.m.) Really it says... (8/1/09 7:51 p.m.) Timestamping, you both save and ruin me. Please enjoy. (See more recent post here.)

Old news is news, right? I just heard of this web series with Felicia Day (Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) about a World of Warcraft-type game and the gamers who play it called The Guild. And the first two seasons are available online here. I heard about it on Felicia Day's Twitter page, oddly enough.

It's pretty neato, good for nerds and great for people with short attention spans. The episodes are about 5 minutes long. Web series are sometimes not great (I'd point to the NBC web-series that attempted to make the primetime transition, the name of which I cannot remember -- chick who wanted to be an actress?). But there's the insanely awesome, which is one label I'd affix to Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible and the amazing performances by Neil Patrick Harris, Felicia Day and Nathan Fillion. And it's not just because of my fondness for frozen yogurt (Spot at 1:45!).

The web series is currently for sale on DVD at Amazon, but for now, enjoy the episodes for free online. That's whether you identify with the weak-stomached and nerdy Codex or the Wade, the studly stuntman. Odds are, you're more of a Codex crowd. I don't judge. I'm one of you. Just maybe not as much as my nerdy brother. It's okay. He doesn't read this. Anyway,This Oblivion elf appreciates the cute clothes over the exploding heads, too, Sid! (I'm not that hardcore.) Yay for The Guild!