Where knitting and music combine in a hodge podge of garments and guitars, (plus the most noteworthy television shows, books and movies according to me) -- a gracious plenty to keep you cozy warm at night.
How do you know you're a diehard Truebie? Well, you're so intrigued by one fan's comment at Comic-Con that you reserve your very own copy of Prince Valiant at the library.
But there's a problem -- No, it isn't that you've checked out a movie based solely on the fact that Stephen Moyer appears in it (especially when you're an Eric girl), but that you misread the text online and reserved a VHS tape.
That's right, I'm real high-tech and no longer have a VCR. So I have to call Rachel and subject her to the cheeseball fangirl fest. And what does she do? Explains the plot to me when I'm too busy laughing and provides Moosetracks ice cream for me to enjoy.
It's 1997 and pre-True Blood for Stephen Moyer, and pre-Grey's Anatomy for Katherine Heigl. (This movie also features Hellboy and Professor Flitwick from the Harry Potter films.)
King Arthur has a daughter, Princess Ilene (Heigl), who wants to be a knight. Valiant (Moyer) impersonates his squire in a jousting match because he isn't able to fight. Arthur enlists him to take Ilene to a safe place because they are being invaded by the Scottish (but it's really the Vikings impersonating the Scottish).
Meanwhile, the villans have dug up Merlin and got his spellbook so they could get Excalibur. They remind me the ones in Power Rangers. Yes, I was a kid in the '90s. And those guys really like the eyeliner. But it's shown that only Valiant can release it. (He's a squire because he was orphaned and raised in a monks, who named him Valiant.)
The one requirement for Valiant's quest? That he get wet while wearing armor and possibly have a swordfight. (4:08)
Much better hair like this. Not that "ridiculous mullet." - Stephen's words, not mine.
Pretty much every scene includes Valiant with wet hair and armor. You'd be surprised how many situations call for that.
Then, epic battles ensue. Vikings are barbaric and wear funny hats.
Epic battles, freeballing it to victory. (Sorry Belles, we're not talking Moyer.)
Rachel rewound the part at :25 about three times. Let me just say, this really made me wish that Alex was Thagnar, there. We all know he's Scandinavian, Godammit. They "love to be naked."
But there's a anti-Viking slant going on. Valiant and his people are rightfully pissed at the Vikings. They stole his home and tried to harem-up his woman. UNTIL we find out that Valiant is a Viking, but the good kind.(About 1:13)
You got a thing for proposing to blonde girls, Moyer?
Sound familiar? He's a Viking, but a good one. He hates his own people because they've wronged him and stolen away his family and his rightful life! Some big Viking is trying to sex up his lady and take his spot, so he fights and uses armored alligator heads as lifts!
There you have it. Stephen Moyer is a secret Viking, this movie would have been pop culture gold if Alexander Skarsgard was cast as the evil Viking and all us Truebies could have died happy.
Instead, we'll just have to watch this sometimes live action, sometimes animated, sometimes ridiculous movie of awesome much in the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000 with a friend. Just make sure it's a friend who will not only accurately finish the sentences of the movie she's never seen, but offer to be on a screenwriting team for awesome medieval '90s movies with you.
This movie is a must for Moyer fans, for sure. But fans of alligators in armor and PG-13 innuendo would like it too. Or at least have a good laugh. Stephen did. (4:15)
So, I've been neglecting the blog a little lately. I feel ashamed. BUT... I will have a True Blood reaction up tomorrow, and a playlist pretty soon.
But -- News. Which may not be news if you know it already, but Record Cozy is now up and running on Tumblr as Record Cozy Lite.
What does that mean? Random, but lovely things that are related to regular ole Record Cozy, but not post-worthy. I don't know if I can promise the suggestive fun times of that there Diet soda, but I can promise way more ASkars than you can handle and a few of my best-ever things: Conversations, Tweets and Top Searches which lead people to Record Cozy (only the amusing and bizarre).
Wasn't it magical the way they all just fell down like that? Dirty mannequins!
I'm especially interested in getting a few more knitting peeps to follow. So, let me know if you love yarn! Woot!
Please enjoy Record Cozy Lite, and we'll be up and running when I get something accomplished academically and can tear myself away from Alexander Skarsgard pictures and Miniature Tiger songs on repeat.
Someone help me. That combination is effing lethal.
There is something that I'd never thought I'd admit in public: I have an appreciation for boys in manly tank tops.
What I'm saying is that I've really enjoyed watching Eric Northman this season of True Blood, and it's not just because Alexander Skarsgard is the sweetest guy ever. (Although he is.) Seriously, how could you say no to that? Right about 2:12. There are no words.
While Eric Northman was positively mouthwatering at times, I can't say he was the first cute guy to catch my eye wearing one of those gun-showing shirts.
You're probably going to laugh when read this, but Cillian Murphy held his own in 2007's Sunshine. Why are you going to laugh? Both guys are very attractive, but in different ways. The Skarsgard is let's say, just a little more gunny, than Mr. Murphy. (Nice tank shot at :16.) I saw Sunshine in theatres when it first came out, at a place which shows what we like to call in our family, "artsy movies." And I loved it. I don't love many movies. I hate the movie theater, which probably stems from my dislike of crowds and sticky things. But this one, I came out saying wow. Some might say I'm picky, but I'm nothing if not loyal to my favorites.
Not only is the movie great, but I can remember being distracted by the wardrobe choices a little. That is an attractive guy. I can't say I wasn't entertained.
This is actually the first time I've watched it since that first time because, let me tell you, it's sad. This video pretty much sums up the way you feel at the end of the film: That's pretty sad. Counting Crows sad. But the rest of the movie I'd liken to Alien. Especially the dinner scene at the beginning of the film. You're practically like, "Oh shit. Someone's having an alien baby before this scene is over." Okay, maybe not. The idea's pretty similar.
I love that Sci-Fi stuff. My one complaint about Alien? It brought out the crazy cat lady in me. I spent a lot of time near the end worried about the cat. Let all the people die, but I worried about the cat. Oh, CCL me. There's a reason it's a classic. I can't say that the volumes after Aliens lived up to that, even with Joss Whedon's involvement (Alien Resurrection), which usually turns things to gold.
It is a really great movie, but pre-tank Northman, I was pretty interested in seeing a little Cillian gunniness. I still am. Although with more of a Northman Junior spin.
You have to appreciate the manly tank top. Not everyone can pull that off. Maybe that's not the best word choice when I'm putting all this man hotness in front of you. Ahem. The only time Eric pulls off (his own?) racerback is when he's crying.
I'll tell you one thing, folks. Wishbone lied to me. Every piece of literature seems pretty incredible when it's re-enacted by a talking dog. Well, he sort of talks. But really, what's the story, Wishbone? It's that Alison can not finish "Rip Van Winkle" to save her life. Instead, I'm pretty sure that watching catchy theme songs with dogs in costumes is a favorable alternative: The other point of this story? "Rip Van Winkle" yields kid-friendly edutainment. I found this rendition of "Bat Van Winkle" by alexbrandonclark as well. You can tell why: I was intrigued by the music choices. That's Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, kids! And I have a soft spot for bats. Ever since I read Silverwing. I was such a literary kid, and what am I now? I'm a college girl, a Skars-craving, selective vampire fiction reader and Eric-watcher who can't get through a short story assignment. It's times like these when I realize why people always said they hated English classes in high school. Well, in college, not much has changed.
What's a girl to do when they don't present classic literature with the easy-to-digest spunky terriers and cartoons?
Um... I guess, type up yet another nostalgic blog post about the bygone pop culture days of my youth? Spend a little time searching YouTube videos and discovering that Jensen Ackles was on Wishbone (4:40)?
That sounds about right.
UPDATE: Finished that... thing. It got better after he got all old. I must say that the bats helped me keep the story straight in my head. I can't say I recall so many trippy bats with pirate eye patches, though. There was just the one...
I wasn't going to post this, despite Eric's awesomeness, but I feel I have to because of my awesomeness. I've got the music senses of a bloodhound sometimes. I mean, your ears prick up and you're like, "Hey! That's Depeche Mode." Which is followed by, "I effing love True Blood."
I give you the finale teaser, which is basically many of the previous promos mashed into one. Except Eric seems to be dining a little less politely. He didn't even check to see if he had blood on his face!
Sadly, you don't learn anything new, except that someone on the True Blood staff has excellent taste in music. But you knew that already.
You ever just have a sudden weird reflective moment? Well, I just did. Let me tell you a little about my evening.
I'm in college, so there's bound to be assignments piling up. That, and laundry. I took care of both, reading several chapters about grammar while feeling delighted that I didn't have to sucker punch anyone for a dryer.
Then I came back to my room, had a little dinner, and worked on some reviews I have for this week for The Pitt News. I make a lot of connections to cartoon characters when I really think about things. One Colin Hay song sounded like something Chef would sing on South Park. I don't think I'll be printing that.
Break time and what do I do? Watch some Ghost Hunters and work on my Bella's Mittens! The combination of activities in itself isn't exactly regular, but I think my own enjoyment in the activity is what scares me the most. What's interesting about these mittens is they're knit by the Magic Loop method, at least in part.
Magic Loop is something I've never tried before, and I am kicking myself for it. Double-pointed needles can be annoying and even if I'm extra careful, I still get slight laddering in stockinette stitch. Magic Loop makes it so much easier to knit in the round! It's a little tricky, but definitely not as cumbersome as 5 needles at once. I always have a problem with dropping the one loose needle in the couch cushions or the cat stealing one. Here, no muss, no fuss.
It's not much yet, but it's looking good.
So, how do I spend my evenings? Tucked in my room with my paranormal investigators, new and exciting knitting techniques and drowning out my neighbors with headphones and a loud and lovely dose of Good Shoes.Simple? Yes. Boring? To anyone else, yes. But for me, it's the perfect time to reflect on the weirdness that is my taste in culture. And my life.
Well, as always with True Blood we start off with the other end of the cliffhanger from last week. "Frenzy" started pretty much how I suspected, with Sophie Anne feeding from a human.
Sophie Anne was interesting. She's a lot more colorful than she was in the books. There, she was sort of demure and dressed too old for the age she looked. Although she did enjoy the company of women, there was no real mention of the virtual harem she had at her compound.
I found it interesting that she used the phrase, "That's random," one which even my parents don't use. I guess Sophie Anne's a "hip" vampire?
But what I found most curious was the absence of Andre. I actually said it in my head like this, "What happened to Andre? Where's Andre?" *Tim Gunn Voice*
But seriously folks, no. I really hope that they keep Andre in the show. There are some of the best scenes later in the novels that directly or indirectly relate to him. The main thing is, he's never supposed to leave the Queen's side. The same goes for the Berts, but they're not quite as important until later.
What we find out from Sophie Anne is that Maryann was human and can be killed in a certain way. In the novels, they don't kill Maryann, she leaves voluntarily. The only reason I can see for killing her off is they want any possible return of the Maenad to be crushed. Why is that? Boring? Who said that? Oh, yes. Me. And a million other fans of the show.
Meanwhile back in Bon Temps, Tara wants to rescue Eggs, like an idiot. But the main problem I have with this situation is what Tara says to Sookie. She says, "How many times have you put yourself in danger for the man you love?" Well, realistically, some, but not the big one. Not the one that she'll feel the worst about when the truth comes out. Not yet. I'm beginning to think that they have no intention of following one of the biggest plot points of the books. Every chance they get to paint Bill in a positive light, as a victim, they take it. And I can only say, "It didn't happen like that."
Sam reveals he's a shifter to Jason and Andy, an increasingly strange and entertaining pair, btw. I have to say, I really love the stupid Jason lines. The best one this episode: "This is Armageddon. This is a book. This is The Oral History of the Zombie War." That's a fictitious book about zombies. A parody. That was priceless. Also, "That's in The Bible or The Constitution." I really love dumb Jason.
And Lafayette's having sex dreams about Eric as well. Although he doesn't enjoy them nearly as much as Sookie. "Somebody needs to slap that bitch." "I already have." was nice. I like how Sookie shares blood bonding stories with Lafayette like she's sharing complaints about frequent runs in each other's stockings.
Can I just say something about Lafayette's flashback things? I know they are not supposed to be funny, but I can not stop laughing until I cry when I see one. Andy Bellefleur was super weird, but it was hilarious. I'll tell you why. Alexander Skarsgard is a crazy good actor, so it's not just him in a dress, it's him acting like Lettie Mae. And I kind of love it. And I won't feel bad for laughing when Laffy is cowering in the corner.
And I also completely thought Alex was joking when he said he wanted to wear a dress on the show at Comic-Con (clip here). The saddest part about that scene? He was still sexy. I still say that that man is unfair to the entire male population -- and, strange and sudden revelation -- to the man who tries on Sookie's Fangtasia dress. I'd expect not being able to pull that one off is especially heartbreaking. Alexander Skarsgard: He's too dreamy.
Jason using the term "lady dog" amused me. He would think about that. Oh, Jason. You perv. The idea of Sam laying eggs and eating them was kind of strange as well. I found myself yelling at the screen, "He's not a lady chicken, Jason!" Not that he heard me.
When Sookie tells Lafayette she's going to do something, I fully expected some more weird telepathic glowey magic stuff. No, it was just a statue.
I'm a fan of whenever someone suggests that they go see Eric. There are actual cheers over here. Sam takes advice from Coby and Lisa, obviously not thinking too clearly lately. Missed that one himself. At Fangtasia, we have the very awesome Closed sign, "Sorry We're Dead."
Tara breaks away, thanks to bitchy Lettie Mae, and gets black-eyed again. Shocker. And she also summoned Maryann with her fake demon. Lovely. Best thing about this scene? Maryann's angry gerbil noise!
Sookie and Lafayette are storming the castle, so to speak, and all I can think is, "Sookie, what is in your purse?" You didn't drive, you're not going to tip the maenad for the lovely meat tree or the house sitting, why? At least use a messenger bag when you're battling to the death. Hands free is the way to go in this girl's opinion.
So, Sam asks Eric for help at Fangtasia, and he lounges there like he's in a photo shoot for GQ,smouldering at the youngins. Eric asks Sam if he could give him Sookie, calling it a "tribute," which I found interesting. In the books, Maryann asks Eric for a tribute directly, through her attack on Sookie. I can't recall Maryann calling hers a tribute quite so often as she calls for a "sacrifice." And it's not even for herself (as in the novels), but for another god.
Eric's interaction with the children has been a big hit, particularly the phrase, "teacup humans." I guess you would call this bittersweet if you're an Eric fan, counting the winking, the showing off his vampiric skills and not eating the children, but calling them "delicious" all the same. I'm sure the chatter on the Bill-friendly sites isn't nearly as light and "Aw. Eric! You rascal."
The flying scene was a bit anticlimactic, really It looked just the same as when they use the effect on Heroes. With this (above), I expected something flashier. Not that (below). In the books, I always pictured something more along the lines of hovering than actual Superman-style flying. I was more satisfied with the zoomy moves of last season, even if they were a bit cheesy.
Sookie pretty much walked into one of those cheesy haunted houses that they do for Halloween, only real. That's all I could think of when I saw it. Move from crazy hand chopping woman to intestine man to frisky coroner, all in the dark. And to the tune of screeching violins so you know you're supposed to be creeped out.
Of course, I thought, "Sookie's going to let him spoon her?" I had a yay Sookie moment when she was all, PAN FACE! Sookie's Fangtasia dress was also weird and amusing, but I thought the whole walk through was a little fake-looking.
Really perplexed by the egg. And the nest. Still.
About Lafayette and the last stand, or whatever you want to call it. Just another wtf, Maryann?! With the frickin' Wonder Woman powers.
Bill's visit with the Queen was something about which I was really concerned. I thought revealing that Bill had met Hadley would speed up the plot too much, but really, I don't think it revealed much of anything. At least not what it was supposed to. I'm worried that Bill's big downfall is just going to fizzle into a mix of information we already know and a man that's all tortured and conflicted and a victim of circumstance. That's not really what Bill is. But at this rate, I could see that happening. And I will not let the Bill fans be proved right. Not when I'm sure that they're wrong. I'm wacky that way.
I know the Bill or Eric debate is one for the ages, and a controversial one at its core, but I'm losing my faith in the writers' ability to convey the dickishness that makes Bill Compton the man we all know and compare to Eric.
Right now, I want to like Bill. I like Stephen Moyer and it pains me that we're going to see less of him as the seasons go by. If it weren't for the prospect of more Eric smirks, winks and tasty flesh (Zombie moment? There is a war brewing...), I might be more conflicted. But, what can I say? I take things for what they are. Only right now, what they are is wrong and colored with the positive spin of which I just can't approve. But revealing this big secret now would be ridiculous. That years of dramatic irony that would be a Maryann situation all over again. What is she? She's a maenad. Well, let's talk about it for two seasons. Then we'll tell you. That would be very bad, and boring and lose it's effect.
I guess I just want some book stuff to stay the same. There's things I love about certain books in the series and it just feels wrong without them.
So, lastly, we have the big Eric/Bill exchange, which is always just a big pissing contest. I especially like to watch Bill try to be tall next to Eric. Eric's flying hair is pretty brilliant, including the show of his vanity with the hands running through it, smoothing down.
Of course, Eric threatens Bill about Sookie, and Bill threatens Eric about the "V" dealing. It's strange that Eric is doing something the Queen doesn't know about. I think it's important to note that Bill admits to having given Sookie his blood, and that Eric is curious enough to guess that Bill had done so, presumably based on what he saw after Sookie's attack, or the fact that vampires often exchange blood with their lovers. This was something that many people commented on about the dream sequence. Eric looked very human-like because he had taken Sookie's blood earlier, whereas in real life, Bill had done the same and still looked very pale.
Overall, I feel the same way about this episode that I feel about most True Blood episodes. I'm extremely anxious to see it, obviously, but there's always a hint of apprehension attached. Maybe it's because I love the novels so much that any editing makes me sad. But I just can't feel right about the deletion of my favorite scenes (The Bill-Sookie hotel scene where Eric asks for a nightcap "Warm from the vessel," and mostly the Lycra. I will miss the Lycra.) in favor of the boring, repetitive and confusingly mysterious Maryann stuff. At least if they kill her off, we'll have a little peace from giant eggs and other similar wtf moments.
Two weeks until True Blood's season finale, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'." (That's September 13.)I know she's the Queen and all, but Eric! That's not Sookie! I don't approve of vampire/vampire kissage when it comes to Eric and Sookie. Tsk tsk.
I hope they explain the egg, because I am very confused by the egg. Sometimes book to show changes make no sense to me at all. You think when Charlaine Harris thought, "Maenad," she also thought, "Giant egg."? I think not.
Bill's being painted really positively now, but I'm not so sure how sacrificing Sam will go over with Sookie. There's no way they're killing Sam, btw. Maenad, or no. I'm mostly concerned about Eric and Sophie-Anne. Which now that I think about it, did we even hear her name yet? I can't recall.
All I can say is, two more weeks, people. Two more weeks. And there were too many quick cuts in this one, not enough dialogue snippets for my taste. I guess we'll have to wait to find out what happens later. Two weeks. Frowny face.
UPDATE (9/7/09 at 9 p.m.): I'm not so sure I can enjoy these scenes with Eric and the Queen in the finale now. Not after rumors of Alexander Skarsgard and Evan Rachel Wood dating for real surfaced here. I said on Twitter earlier today, "This is worse than when I found out our zodiac signs were incompatible." It's still true. Although, I'm slowly convincing myself it's just a rumor. Please?
It's 11:31 and I'm feeling shyt. I'm sitting home alone tonight. And I can't even watch True Blood online. (To the tune of "Backfire at the Disco" by The Wombats, if you please.) Note: This video is brilliant. People are jerks. I love Frosty's. But seriously. Quirky song lyrics aside, I have something to say: I hate college. Why do I hate college? Well, for 3 weeks (2, but I'm blaming it for them not broadcasting on Labor Day as well) I hate it for keeping me away from my HBO. And my True Blood.
There are several things I've learned while REALLY waiting for True Blood. That's past Sunday, past 9 p.m. and past the point of my sanity. And I took the time to write them out in 10 colorful steps. You can actually pinpoint the moment I lost my mind.
Here I am, in my room in the semi-darkness in front of the computer, pacing back and forth stuffing my face with green grapes and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish (Original Style, fyi). And I feel like a mental patient. I'm compelled to eat these grapes, which are just sitting in my fridge, and I'm reminded of a story about my brother.
When he was little, after returning from the grocery store with my mother, he sat in front of the television with a bag of green grapes. He proceeded to eat the entire bag in one sitting and then threw up the same grapes all over himself.
Now, why am I reminded of this story? Because I'm getting pretty crazy. That is, I've eaten an entire bag of Goldfish and the grapes are just sitting there looking at me. I know that road leads to green vomit, but lack of True Blood has addled my brain.
But there are still lessons learned from this experience:
1. I thought waiting a week to watch True Blood was bad. Watching the hour between 9 and 10 o'clock tick by while you stare at the wall because you have no HBO is like watching someone cut off your arm and repeatedly beat you with it.
2. No HBO is the equivalent of being exiled to a Leper colony. At the time when you most want to vent, you're banned from all online outlets. That means Facebook, your favorite blogs and ESPECIALLY Twitter. (That includes BlogTalk. Frowny face.)
3. When you're waiting for an upload, sitting in the dark in front of your laptop, refreshing web pages every 40 seconds seems like a good idea. (For 3 hours.)
4. This waiting period feels somewhat like I'd imagine labor feels. There's shaking, sweating, mood swings, cursing and a sudden need for drugs. (Drugs = True Blood in this case.)
5. No True Blood Sunday at 9 p.m. makes me want to eat chocolate and ice cream more than any failed relationship ever could. If it ever gets cancelled, I'm padlocking my fridge or gaining 45 pounds.
6. Never knit while you wait. True Blood anxiety = Many dropped stitches and unhappy feelings.
7. People talk about masturbation in chat rooms more freely than they should. They're also stupid, mean and have terrible spelling and grammar.
8. I'd feel better about humanity if they didn't talk so much about boobs.
9. I get angry at people who just like Eric for his hotness or jumped on the bandwagon late in the game (after the dream sequence, much?). Chat names are usually something along the lines of Ericslover, Eric4Me and EricsBoyfriend. I feel like the best girl friend seeing her boy date another girl (or guy) when she wants him for herself.
10. I hate college. But only when it comes between me and my True Blood. Like sisters. I think those girls would be ripping off each other's heads if their man was Eric Northman.
There will be a recap when frickin' Niall Brigant sends a miracle my way. I've been working on the Newlin angle, and I think all that'll save me now is a little Fairy magic.
Sayonara from getting beaten by my own arm by my stupid education. More people would go to college if there was HBO. Hey, it goes along with my theory that taping Skars to my homework will improve my GPA. Melancholy thy name is Alison.
UPDATE: The end of this story? It's 1:04 a.m. I watched a jumpy grainy video with (thank God) good audio after several anxious hours. I also missed the last 15 minutes. Which I'm pretty sure was mostly Eric. And I'm also pretty sure that this time, that last bit of lovely True Blood actually exists. Unlike last week.
The end. Still armless. Like frickin' Jane Bodehouse when she's finished with that machete.
UPDATE: 11:15 a.m. Monday. Saw it all now. Recap will be up later tonight. Wtf, True Blood? Wtf. Giant egg?
Alexander Skarsgard (Better known as Sheriff Eric Northman to Truebies) turns 33 today and I thought that would be the perfect opportunity to ogle him. Actually I think any day would be perfect the perfect opportunity to ogle him, but that's beside the point. There are an insane number of Skars videos out there to choose from, but I wanted to have kind of a celebratory video post. I've been saving these gems up for a special occasion. So here's what I have to offer: Alcohol!
The first clip comes from Om Sara, and shows Alex's character celebrating a victory in a football (soccer) match. This is the Alex that Nystacular affectionately calls, "Drunk Alex." (Right about the peace sign... watch for it!) So I thought it would be appropriate.
Now, coming from someone who doesn't drink, this probably seems strange. But I pretty much died the first time I saw this. There's something about the Chicken Dance that makes multiple expletives in succession extra hilarious. You have to marvel at the awesome editing skills in this clip. It's entitled, "True Blood Drinking Game" and it's got Alex in spades! Smirking, anyone?
Happy Birthday Alexander Skarsgard! You couldn't be a better Eric Northman or guy in general. Cheers!
Let's end with a little tribute video. Because you can never have enough of The Skarsgard.
There is a Virtual Birthday Party in the works for Alex, thrown by his fans. It's happening at 9 p.m. E.T. Visit True Blood Net for the details here.
In next week's True Blood, called "Frenzy," there's a war a-brewin'! And among other things, we get to see Sam take a trip to Fangtasia and see Eric on his throne in a snappy suit (Lucky dog! Har de har.) and Pam in a sparkly red catsuit. I'd love to hear the story behind that one. Eric tells Sam that he "May know someone who might be able to offer something useful." Who? Who knows. Maybe the Queen, but we all know that Bill's tighter with her than Mr. Northman. Maryann's pissed (Shocker.) and still demanding her sacrifice. Well, everyone who isn't a zombie is going to ban together to save Bon Temps! And get rid of this season's most boring plot line. Get rid of Maryann? Yes, please.
Well, I'm not as jazzed as I usually am right about now. I know, GASP at that for a moment, but it has a lot to do with the fact that this week's True Blood, "New World In My View," ended 15 minutes early this week! So there I was, sitting on the couch, all ready for a little more Eric screen time and cut to credits. Frowny face. How about 15 minutes of gratuitous Eric flesh? I don't think anyone would have complained about that, HBO.
Can I just have an aside for a moment? What are they thinking over at the show? First, they cut many of the memorable scenes from the novel while adding in hours of really boring Maryann stuff (basically an excuse for orgies.), then they give us a little more Eric. And we thank you. But the thing is, for most people, Sookie's sudden fondness for him comes completely out of left field. You can't blame it all on the blood exchange, either.
I can understand the idea of putting Eric in more scenes and having more of a romantic interaction between he and Sookie, but why would you cut all of the smaller instances of flirtation in Book/Season 1 and heap it all on us in the last few episodes?
I love the idea of Sookie dreaming of him, but the fact that Sookie comes downstairs and finds Eric crying and HE'S SHIRTLESS, the "This is a Dream" flags go straight up. At least leave a little mystery in there. The best thing about the Eric-Sookie dialogue in the book is the flirting, the joking, Eric's leers. I can't understand why there's nothing and then everything.
UPDATE: (8/24/09 9:26 p.m.) After watching this clip again, I want to point out a few more things. How cute is it the way his nose twitches when his fangs come out? And I'm going to amend what I said before and say that we do see a little more of Book Eric here, in that Sookie goes to pull away from a kiss and he grabs her hand, pulling her back. Sookie always needs that extra push over the edge if she's doing something she's not sure is a good idea, and Eric knows just when to help her along and when to passively flirt.
I'm glad they're finally putting more Eric into the episodes and creating this love triangle, but you can't just throw us Team Eric people a dream sequence every once and a while and expect us to be happy. There's this Big Scary Eric and there's the Sensitive Eric, with no happy medium. There's no impish flirt that we've come to love. I'm still waiting, HBO. Still waiting. End Eric rant.
So here we are, with Sookie, Jason and a becoffined Bill heading back to Bon Temps. They run over a couple of the locals (who are Sam's captors from an earlier episode, if you recall.). But basically the whole town's all gone to hell. And Maryann's a kid in Candyland. She's all "MORE MEAT!" for her, well, what Andy from Blood Work called a "Giant Meat Tree" on BlogTalk tonight. She's still a diva. And can anyone else appreciate those Dr. Seuss flowers (Beginning 1:55) she stuffed in there? It was like the frickin' Lorax (There he goes with his moustache.).
The influenced Eggs was sort of creepy in a overly positive kid's show actor way when he says, "So it's extra fresh?" after Maryann calls for organs and murder. Alright kids, what color is the spurty blood coming from Sam Merlotte's heart? Red! Gold stars!
I loved Andy and Sam together in this episode. Andy's she's a "She's a MAY- WHUT?" was pretty classic. And Sam's "I think she wants to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch," was up there too. For a "sometimes nudist," Sam sure doesn't show the free hippie zombie devil people much love.
The regular cast was looking really good this episode. I don't know whether that was because everyone else looked so horribly mussed and haphazardly clothed (if at all), but I did have a problem with Bill's Johnny Cash outfit earlier in the episode. But all I could think as Maxine Fortenberry was standing there in her fuchsia Hawaiian shirt playing Wii was that Sookie looked like she stepped out of an Ann Taylor ad.
I guess I should mention the fact that Jessica's had enough of ole Maxine and takes a bite out of her. I thought that Hoyt was going to throw himself in front of her or something, but we'll see how that plays out. I'm really glad that they went with having Maxine go after Jason, because I was cringing those scenes with the Jocasta set-ups there. I don't think I could have taken it.
There was a lot of instances when you weren't sure who was going to be affected and who was not. It was like a zombie movie. But, c'mon Sam! You knew that was a trap. How could it not be? And he and Andy go into the freezer. I especially love when Andy stops to grab the liquor bottle. Another great Sam-Andy line? Sam: "These are our friends and neighbors." Andy: (mutters) "And customers." Oh snap! Andy tells it like it is.
SPOILER for non-novel readers: We knew that Jason would be immune in the same way that Sookie was because of their lineage. But how that genetic quirk translates into full-on pulsing life force glowing thing... I don't know. I think that's an addition that lays on the, "WHAT?!" or so I like to yell at the T.V.
Are we just meant to assume that someone told Sookie that her house was now Maryann's house? Because she seems surprised when Maryann shows up and when Lafayette tells her to leave. But there she shows up at her house looking for Maryann after Hoyt says, "Party at Maryann's," etc. etc. That's a little fuzzy. And how are they going to bring Sookie's house back to normal for next season? I wonder if they're going to cop out and explain everything mystically. Like poof! Back to normal. There's a few "in the kitchen" scenes next season. I can't picture homey Southern life around all the vines and scum.
UPDATE: I think I expected a bigger reaction when Sookie found out about her house being orgy party central. About the time Bill, Sookie and Jason arrive, Hoyt mentions that Sookie's house is Maryann's house. All Sookie says is, "What?" As if Hoyt had just told her he ate the last Oreo. Actually, I would expect a bigger response for that. She reacted as if Hoyt told her he used the wrong setting on the lawnmower. This one line of dialogue slipped by me amid the saucer-eyed Maxine Fortenberry Wii fest. Apologies.
Another question about immunity to Maryann's influence: Why is Lettie Mae immune? At first I thought the reason Maryann allowed some people to be controlled and others not was so that it would keep up the charade. She left out the outsiders, so to speak. Think, there's: Lettie Mae (Drunk), Lafayette (Gay), Andy (Drunk), Sookie (Telepath = Weird/Crazy Sookie). -- That would be before we knew about her immunity. It would make sense for her to selectively influence people, but I'm not quite sure where they're going with this whole thing. I just hope it ends somewhere close to Eric in pink Lycra... (If you want a Lycra spoiler, it's the last paragraph of the plot summary here.)
Sadly, probably not, but a girl can hope.
Maybe I'm watching too closely and too frequently, but I feel like they're hitting you over the head with a lot of the maenad clues this season. Bill's reading that book in the flashback about Greek Myths after we already heard Maryann talking about Greek maids and gods. Then, OH! HELLO AUDIENCE! THIS IS IMPORTANT! There's something wrong in there. It's getting a little too obvious with the foreshadowing.
Since I talked about the Sookie's Moon Tiara Magic! (har de har... Maybe I wasn't that far off last week...) in the spoiler part, let me just say that the first thing I wrote in my notes after that scene was BULLSHIT! Seriously? How does Sookie's telepathy translate into blue glowey psychic force field magic?!
Of course, Bill drinks from Maryann, and gross vomit scenes ensue. Is it weird that I thought that Bill vomited with an accent? Oh, was that just me? And then just as I'm thinking, well, yelling at the T.V. again, "WHY DON'T YOU CALL ERIC?!" Sookie says, "I'm callin' Eric." It's nice when the television is interactive.
I really enjoyed the, what a lot of the chatters have been calling, "Jambo" scenes. Jason with a bandoleer, nail gun and chainsaw. Oh boy. And the set dressing at Merlotte's was pretty priceless too. Notice the bobcat and goose stuffed animals with Mardi Gras beads around their necks? Nice touch. My main thought during the Jason scenes was, "Wtf is he going to do?" The answer: Slice a stereo in half with a chainsaw. I should have known.
Terry Bellefleur's part was amazing, and although I'm a non-smoker, I loved the way his cigarette moved when he talked, with the black eyes and everything. Pretty awesome. He really took charge of the situation. Good for him. If his main objective wasn't to fillet Sam, I'd be cheering right about now.
When Bill and Sookie head over to save Tara and Bill goes all fangy for the V-buyer, I had a "Yay Bill!" moment. Shocker. Bill does scary well. The fangs help. And Lafayette isn't afraid to let it slip that Eric's pushing him to sell the stuff. Which is probably a mistake. Has his basement time taught Lafayette nothing?
Black-eyed Tara is super creepy. Like really creepy. Bravo, Rutina. That laugh gave me chills. And did you notice that the go-to insult for Sookie's enemies is the "C" word? Think about it: Steve Newlin, Zombie Tara and Denise Rattray come to mind. Sookie saying the Latin phrase that all the zombies were repeating in her accent was a nice moment for me. I had a giggle at that. This scene was a chance for Sookie to play a more active role (in her own frickin' show...) but I don't know if I'm 100 percent happy with it. The tag team saving thing was interesting, but again, I have to say that I'm not so sure they explained it well.
For book folks, we know that Sookie has a sort of hypnotic power that is introduced at the beginning of Living Dead In Dallas, when she helps interrogate vampire bar employees in Dallas to help find Farrell, the missing vampire. Godric actually lures the Dallas vampire to be kidnapped and taken to the Fellowship. But that scene was left out in the show, and the magical Tara-saving was explained away with one throw-away line. They're just relying on the fact that people know the story too much. There's confusion when they leave out large chunks of the novel.
In other Jambo news: I effing love Jason. He uses his "I'm scary!" gas mask that he used to scare Amy Burley last season (Look for it at :52). And is shirtless. And exclaims, "It's me! The guy who comes!" and at Terry Bellefleur's "Bullshit. God has horns!" adds a nice pair of tree branch horns. I had to ask myself, "Why flares?" in there, but I guess the actions of Jason Stackhouse cannot be explained.
Sam's "Smite me!" was perfect with the twitching and the flashlight going. That was hilarious. I think that really saved the whole episode for me. I did wonder where Sam got that apron, though. It's not like Andy's never seen him in the buff before. Plus shifters aren't the most modest people.
Although that scene was really funny, in the end, there was just not enough Eric, and a little too much Maryann, and a lot of weird shit happening without any real explanation.
Visiting the Queen's compound was pretty epic (Note: I just typed Eric there. Not even thinking about it. Have Eric typing syndrome.). Bill's in slow motion and as Dallas from Loving True Blood in Dallas said on BlogTalk, The Queen's compound was also "badass." I wrote that exact word in my notes. So it must be true. I like how the queen has secret service people. In the book, I always pictured them as more like guards. Like military style. This was more political. So that's a surprise for me.
Well, we're back to square Season 1 in the Eric department. Let's hope he's not just a glorified extra next episode. At least this one proved what we've been saying all along: Eric's dreamy. Only now, it's literally. Eric dreams? I'll take one please, extra shirtless. And a little bite never hurt anyone. At least not anyone who lived to tell about it.
Oh, and people, after next week's episode, we have to wait until SEPTEMBER 13th for the finale! Suckfest, right? Think happy bitey Eric thoughts until then.
I was searching some YouTube videos for my last post earlier and I kept seeing the same things pop up on my search. Every other set-to-music clip I clicked on was from Evanescence. In just a few minutes of searching, I found 10 different clips that used an Evanescence song. 10. And it's not over yet. I can't add them to my playlist all day, so here are the search results. That's a lot of that... stuff.
Okay, I dimly recall Evanescence being one of Sookie's songs to sing in the car, but unless all those people read so closely that they all remember that one line from one book (which I doubt), and made the connection, I'd understand. But if that were the case, we'd have The Dixie Chicks and Carrie Underwood over Eric's smirking and Sookie's glares. And I'm sorry to say so, but Book Sookie does not have as rich a music palette as does Show Sookie.
Now, I'll admit it. I am a music snob. You can clap if you want, offer me buttons and party hats and cake, but I'm not going to quit being one. I will forever be a music snob, but something that I'm willing to change? You people, and if I could, Book Sookie Stackhouse. But don't get the wrong idea. I just want to help.
Here's my theory for the Evanescence/True Blood phenomenon:
You're listening to Top 40, MTV before they discover the indie stuff after the album's been out for a year or two and someone decides to use it in a movie... Exhibit A: M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes," (Original and Pineapple Express) Exhibit B: Muse's "Supermassive Black Hole." (Original and Twilight - still don't understand this, btw. Listen to the lyrics. Think of Edward and Bella. Oh yeah, that's them. Oh, and just to prove my point about the overexposedness here's a video from the baseball scene with what? EVANESCENCE.)
You need some dark pop to match up to your dark and dirty vampire show. Think about it. What is out there? I'm no popular music connoisseur, but I can't think of one other than Evanescence. Again, another movie soundtrack pick up (Daredevil), but the difference between Evanescence and Muse is that one is good and the other is... not. The first set of videos contain the song probably the one you'll remember from Daredevil, "Bring Me To Life." The second set features "My Immortal" over an actual scene from the film.
But I don't blame you if you like them, or if you use them in a True Blood video. You're already a better pop culture person in my estimation because you care enough about True Blood to post a video (unless it's about Bill... just kidding. I want to like Bill, but Eric keeps winking at me.). Anyway, you don't know anything better.
I'll tell you a secret: Once upon a time, I listened to some pretty embarrassing music. And I will not utter those words here, but let's just say I was a kid in the 90's so you can probably guess my shame. It actually took good television soundtracks for me to make that transition from what I would now call, "I'll never tell and will deny it if it gets out," to "I like that song I heard on T.V." to "I have no idea who they are." You'll be hearing that last one in no time. And you'll be hearing those shame bands... never.
Here we go:
Alison's Lessons in Dark Pop/Rock, What to Apply to True Blood Scenes, and How It's Already Been Done Right
How It's Already Been Done Right:
My choice for the True Blood music video done right is this one by smvgrey74. It's a tribute to Godric set to Band Of Horse's "The Funeral."
I'll you why this is such an amazing video. Check the comments. At least 3 people's first comment was, "What's the song?" The fact that smvgrey chose a more obscure piece means several things:
1.Her work is unique. -- Check the number of True Blood fan videos that use an Evanescence song. Now check the number that use a Band Of Horses song. Well, here are the results, and as far as I can see, besides smvgrey's, there's zero.
2.She's using music to its full advantage. -- The best fanvids match up both music and lyrics to the clips. Anyone can choose a song. It's not that hard. Choosing one that fits means a lot more. It will strengthen the emotion, the humor and the romance. There's nothing like a good song.
3.She's exposing people to new music. -- One of the reasons I love True Blood so much is the amazing soundtrack. Now that's not only the score, but the songs chosen by the professionals. Let's not forget that every episode title is a song. That's True Blood at its core. It's about good music. The same goes for a fan video. Maybe I'm a little biased about her song choice since I know and love the band already. But it makes me smile to see that so many people loved it too.
It's like smvgrey made a big cake and she's sharing the new recipe with everyone. That's how the indie goes mainstream. It's word of mouth at first. Sure, now most of that word of mouth is actually typed and beamed out to millions of people on the internet, but there's still your good old magazines and radio. They know what's what. I'd go on to say that great underground music is just as delicious and elusive as Caroline Holliday Bellefleur's chocolate cake. And if you've read the novels, you know how amazing that is. You only get it when someone dies.
What to apply to True Blood scenes:
I'd say that more than music style, it's the lyrics that you should concentrate on. I'm not saying that it's a good idea to set romantic exchanges to yodel music if they're talking about something similar, but it's better to stray musically than lyrically. Think about it this way: You're telling a story, they're telling a story. You just want those stories to mesh well. The music added to a scene isn't telling the story of what you're watching onscreen. It's telling the story of what the characters are feeling. You can tell that Bill's a vampire just by looking. You don't need to chose a song that says, "I'm a vampire," literally. Although that isn't always a bad thing. Choose the feeling behind that. The "I'm tortured," "I want to be loved," or "I'm emo." (That last one was a joke. I'm making friends all over the place today.)
Alison's Lessons in Dark Pop/Rock:
Maybe these won't all help you out with a video, but they'll help your playlists. If you're looking to expand your dark-themed pop/rock and more specifically, your True Blood fan video tracks, I'd start with these:
From a general vampire place: Radiohead -- An oldie but a REALLY goodie. Maybe with Thom Yorke's vocals you can't always understand the lyrics, but they're dark and clever and amazing. I'd point to "We Suck Young Blood." Queens of the Stone Age -- Tend to be heavy on the rock, but I'd suggest "The Blood Is The Love" for Vampires. (For more vampire songs see my old Playlist post: "A Fangy Salut.")
From a character-based POV: The Twilight Sad or Yeah Yeah Yeahs -- "Modern Romance" A good Bill and Sookie one, originally sung by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but covered by The Twilight Sad. (Lyrics here.) Neither band is usually this mellow, but this is a sort of a track by track and not blanket rule deal.
The best Evanescence replacement I can suggest, both in general and from a True Blood fan video standpoint is Bat For Lashes -- That is, if you're looking for something a little closer to Evanescence's brand of pop (If Evanescence and Cat Power had a baby that was smarter than one of them...). For TB I'd chose "I'm On Fire" (Lorena and Bill, anyone? From Sookie's POV. It's also a Springsteen cover altered a bit.) or "What's a Girl to Do" (For some Bill/Eric reflection! Plus the video is weird and I love it.) or "Glass" (From an FotS place, sort of a Sarah Newlin finding her knight, Jason questy feel.) (All lyrics here.)
Reason You Should Not Hate Me:
Listen. I'm sorry if this offends you Evanescence lovers out there. But if you can't giggle at the sheer volume of Evanescence/True Blood fanvids, then there is something wrong with you. I'll tell you right now, it's not because they're the best band ever. It's because they're more exposed. I also really like all the Evanescence fanvideos I chose, excepting the music. If you're uncomfortable with the way I've used your work, contact me and I'll take it down. I hope you understand that I'm not criticizing anyone personally. Except for Evanescence. And I hope you'll think about these alternatives for future videos or search out the more obscure of the genres.
P.S. If @SookieBonTemps does another song contest, I'm screwed. I'll have a lot more competition if anyone actually reads this.
It's in linky form for right now over at E! Online, but the sneak peek for this week's True Blood, "New World in My View" is here. (Or you can see it on HBO's site here, along with the full preview.) This one's all about Jason Stackhouse and his heroics, which aren't very smart. Leave it to him to be interested in a new waitress over the idea of a clawed monster running around. Jason is nothing if not consistent. I also enjoy the Jason's "gettin' soldiery" music.
There's also an interesting video playing in background. Possibly Bill's Wii? I thought I saw some sword action going on.
Anyway, I'll put up the HBO video, but they never work for me for some reason. It's worth a try.
UPDATE: Video's no longer wonky and is posted below (I left the original link above), but in a related story, @SookieBonTemps posted this link for a video explaining the game playing in the background of the scene on Bill's Wii is called Dead Space Extraction (Released Sept. 29) and from the clip it looks more like zombie-ish creatures than sword-wielding anything. I guess I've got swords on the brain.And did you notice that Hoyt's also been pretty observant? I guess with Jason gone, he had a lot of time on his hands before Jessica showed up.
Let me tell you. For now it's okay, but the first time I see someone wearing an Eric shirt who wouldn't know Eric's ceremonial dagger from his bic, I may have to scream.
When they start printing GP jokes on them, I may have to off myself. And any girl who pronounces his name any of the following: Saarsgard, Skarskard, Derrick or Alec. And I'm throwing in "That guy." for good measure.
You have been warned. And when I pass the store in the mall, I may have to fall to my knees and cry bloody tears when I scream, "HBO, don't do it. Please! Please! Please. HBO," in Old Swedish. (Too soon?)
Not that it'll help anything, but maybe @EricNorthman will eat any of the people who are unworthy. He'd enjoy the sport.
Maybe it was naive of me to think that True Blood would have a cult following forever. But it looks like our favorite Viking is going to populate those dark-colored shelves with our favorite Sparkly Pansies. And then I will die a little inside. And it won't be from sexy Eric bites.
UPDATE: Friends are the best. Now, I was feeling all sad about the prospect of Eric Northman becoming a Hot Topic commodity but Nystacular knows just what to say. "Think of it this way, she's just a fangbanger." To which I could only reply, "Awwww. Because then we're Sookie Stackhouse and Eric loves us! (Mostly me.)"
You know you're friends are awesome when they make you feel better with obscure pop culture references. So, I'm spreading the love around. There is hope. Don't worry. The zippered Hot Topic girls are the Gingers and the ones who really appreciate him are the Sookie Stackhouses. Best idea ever.
After revisiting my childhood pop culture faves with last night's post and An American Tail, I looked up another one. I used to love Sailor Moon. I even had the theme birthday party with the cake, cups and the paper plates with Sailor Moon winking up at all my party guests. I can remember watching it with my friends and lusting after stuffed Luna dolls at the mall.
But what I didn't remember was the villain seen in the video below is sporting some nasty fangs, then turns into an evil-looking corpse dressed in a harem outfit. That very well may have been my first vampire, but a saw more of a connection to Sookie Stackhouse's role than to any of the True Blood vampires.
Unless you count them as objects of my affection and fictitious character crushes. Oh, Tuxedo Mask, why don't they wear the capes anymore? Oh, yes. Maybe this is why. Racerback tanks are more badass.
Sailor Moon was my grade school Sookie Stackhouse. It's not just because they're both tough, spunky blondes, it's all they represent: A strong female role model. Of course, True Blood doesn't always paint Sookie as she was written. There's a lot more "Save me, Bill!" than I can remember reading, but the principle's the same. Like Serena, all Sookie needs is a little motivation and she saves the whole world. Even if she sometimes gets distracted by the cute guys. (Note the fact that Tuxedo Mask is the gentlemanly tall, dark and handsome, Sailor Moon's the fair-haired heroine and the evil guy's a blond with similar new Eric hair?)
Lessons Learned from This Rediscovery:
1. Eric Northman still trumps every fictional character (and real-life?) crush I've ever had.
2. Sailor Moon was probably the reason for my elementary school obsession with Feminism.
3. Luna was responsible for my Crazy Cat Lady tendencies. (I thought I might be a Sailor Scout.)
4. Cartoon hair is ridiculous. And awesome. (And sometimes talks to you?)
5. It's okay for heroines to cry and wear skirts and short shorts if they get results.
6. Whether it's a tiara or a chain, my girly role models can turn bitches to dust, save their worlds and their loves.
There's someone to teach you about life through pop culture at every stage of your life. Sailor Moon set a standard for me at a young age. She's all about justice and love and cute outfits. Without that, I can't imagine that I'd feel the same about Sookie.
UPDATE: I can't stop watching this Sailor Moon clip. Old habits die hard?
Maybe I'm having too much fun with last week's episode of True Blood, "I Will Rise Up," but when these things occur to me I usually just giggle to myself. Now, I feel compelled to share them with the world or at least with the people who find this blog. This is yet another installment of "What About Eric?!" but without the Eric. Sadly.
Anyway, I got to thinking about Sookie and Jason's heart to heart. I don't think I gave it enough time. I was too busy spazzing over Eric. (Still am.)
But after I thought about that scene, all I could think of was this scene from An American Tail where Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz are trying to find each other. A movie which I saw again recently after watching it incessantly as a kid... and finally understanding the Communist references (Beginning 4:36).
The mice sing about love and family togetherness and cute mouse things. And I always thought it was a little too romantic for siblings, what with the moon and the stars and the orchestral music... At least both of them are fully clothed. And also mice.
Maybe that was the inspiration for last week's scene. Can't you just picture Sookie in that babushka?
Today, I am trying very hard not to fall asleep after setting my alarm at an insane 6:30 a.m. after months of vampire sloth-like hours. Ask any college student that isn't slightly strange and you'll understand the hardship of getting up before 9.
But seriously, it isn't just coffee that gets me going (although my cup was delicious with my banana brown sugar oatmeal...). It's the music, duh! Maybe it's not "Macho Man" (See Clip from "Witch" below or watch full episode on hulu -- Actually one of my favorite episodes of Season 1) and I'm not hyped up on blood spells, but I still "I MUST have the beat." (That one's from "The Dark Age," opening scene but full episode is below.) Oh, Buffy reference. Sometimes I scare myself.
Welcome to Record Cozy, a blog combines knitting projects I'm working on with music and other media I feel fits the mood of the pieces. A student in Pittsburgh during the year, I summer in the Philadelphia area where I spend way too much time on my computer. I'm also an avid, book-taught knitter and lover of all things A&E.
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