Your Cuddle Bunny's Waiting for his Jam.

Record Cozy. It has been a while. (Please feel free to read that in an Eric Northman circa "Plaisir d'Amour," True Blood Season 1. I know I did.)

Because I could look at him all day. Let's do that now.

So. Here we are again. I'd like to say it's something flashy, something exciting or humorous, but really it's completely normal. Or at least I hope it is for you.

I'm not talking about something in the TMI zone, no, I'm talking about music. I don't just mean music as back ground noise or something you can move to. But music as your life's blood. As part of your life, your memories, your happiness. Hardcore. I said that, but I'm not a hipster, I swear.

It's why music people look down on non-music people. Or at least choose not to associate with them. Can you imagine going a day without listening to music at least once? Even elevator music or the bass of a car stereo as some teenager blasts their rebellious noise? I can't.

When you hear a good song, there's something about it that just makes sense. You close your eyes, you dissect the layers or you listen for that one note. You know that song forever. When you hear that one unforgettable line, it's the most lovely feeling in the world. It's just right. Warm fuzzies.

Then the songs are everywhere. You hear a certain phrase and it's never the same again. As Spike once asked Buffy on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Who you gonna call?" and after a deliberate pause he said, "That phrase is never going to be usable again, is it?" And it won't.

Music's way sneaky. I know that I can't stop giggling when I try to enjoy a hot beverage, because as soon as I think, "Tea or coffee?", I'm compelled to finish with, "Chocolate Cake or Biscuit?" from a Patrik Fitzgerald song I was listening to (obsessively) a few weeks ago.

You'll hear that song again, and you'll remember the first time you heard it, what the weather was like that day, what you did, how you felt. And that's a mixed bag. Rule #1: Never listen to an excellent song if you believe your boyfriend will break up with you.

That's not really a rule. You can listen to country music. "The music of pain," according to Xander Harris. (I'm feeling the Buffy references tonight for some reason.) Xander Harris: Music person. You don't spend your youth at a music club if you don't get it. The Bronze had some nice 90's stuff. Alt-rock at its best. That poppy goodness means fun times with your buds. Country means pain.

If you've ever had a song stuck in your head, there's probably a reason for your music needs. Today, that song is "The Killing Moon" by Echo & The Bunnymen. For me, that is. Why? It's a bit snowy, but there's slush on the ground. It's the first week of classes. It's drab. The streets feel still when it's cold. Those faint notes just sound so desolate, yet the lyrics are strangely romantic.

There's something about the lyrics that can't quite fit anywhere comfortably. There's an edge. "Fate /Up against your will/Through the thick and thin" with its almost cathartic melody alongside it, just melts the drab day away. It's like seeing snowflakes fall in front of a streetlamp. Pretty, but it's going in your rain boots. Your socks are wet, but you're too happy to care. It's a night where your breath curls from your lips ("a magic world"), and you feel like you're just about in Narnia. Not exactly what it means. But that's OK.

When the music moves you, it does more than move you, physically. You're a poet, you're an artist. And your a character in your own movie. You can be giddy or angry at the world, or a hopeless romantic. You just need the right song. And the will to move that sentimental cuddle bunny in your heart. He's waiting to hear his jam. Don't make him cry.

If he's not burning up your tummy waving a bunny-sized lighter of joy and warmth that makes you smile, you're not doing it right. Embrace the bunny. He is your friend. And music, she's like a superspy, but she's got your back. Check back for concept art: Cuddle Bunny and Music Spy. (Not really, but just picture it. And get listening.)

Kele of Bloc Party just became your Cuddle Bunny.

Or if you prefer the literal images...

Skarsgard Fix -- I'm Just a Craving Skars Girl, Baby. Watch Generation Kill, Baby with Me.

I've horribly neglected my blog this week, but I promise to deliver on the True Blood finale and everything else later. Right now, I am going through horrible Alexander Skarsgard withdrawl, for no apparent reason.

So here we are.

My birthday's next month, and I really cannot wait to have another video of the Skars to pop in any time I want.

What's my random craving today? Some Iceman. And what's going to cure that? Some singing clips from Generation Kill and other lovely, lovely GK-themed clips. Yes.

You love to see it. These guys are so heart-breakingly cute.

The only downside? You have "Teenage Dirtbag" stuck in your head all day. It's worth it.

And ASkars is miles away from Jason Biggs, sorry to say. I like his version better. Mainly because I get to look at him. You know how that goes.

I bring you clips from Generation Kill:

Singing. It's awesome when ASkars does it.

Impressions.

Lots of nice Iceman, but skip to 3:50 for the drool. Sigh.

I need to get this DVD. Like now.

I'm just craving Skars girl, ba-by. This might help until sum-mer, ba-by with me! Ooooooooo.

But I still want more Eric next season.

True Blood Finale Promo -- Depeche Mode!

I wasn't going to post this, despite Eric's awesomeness, but I feel I have to because of my awesomeness. I've got the music senses of a bloodhound sometimes. I mean, your ears prick up and you're like, "Hey! That's Depeche Mode." Which is followed by, "I effing love True Blood."

I give you the finale teaser, which is basically many of the previous promos mashed into one. Except Eric seems to be dining a little less politely. He didn't even check to see if he had blood on his face!

Sadly, you don't learn anything new, except that someone on the True Blood staff has excellent taste in music. But you knew that already.

That's "Corrupt" by Depeche Mode, btw, from their latest album, Sounds of the Universe.

What About Eric?! -- Still Sexy in a Dress.

Well, as always with True Blood we start off with the other end of the cliffhanger from last week. "Frenzy" started pretty much how I suspected, with Sophie Anne feeding from a human.

Sophie Anne was interesting. She's a lot more colorful than she was in the books. There, she was sort of demure and dressed too old for the age she looked. Although she did enjoy the company of women, there was no real mention of the virtual harem she had at her compound.

I found it interesting that she used the phrase, "That's random," one which even my parents don't use. I guess Sophie Anne's a "hip" vampire?

But what I found most curious was the absence of Andre. I actually said it in my head like this, "What happened to Andre? Where's Andre?" *Tim Gunn Voice*

But seriously folks, no. I really hope that they keep Andre in the show. There are some of the best scenes later in the novels that directly or indirectly relate to him. The main thing is, he's never supposed to leave the Queen's side. The same goes for the Berts, but they're not quite as important until later.

What we find out from Sophie Anne is that Maryann was human and can be killed in a certain way. In the novels, they don't kill Maryann, she leaves voluntarily. The only reason I can see for killing her off is they want any possible return of the Maenad to be crushed. Why is that? Boring? Who said that? Oh, yes. Me. And a million other fans of the show.

Meanwhile back in Bon Temps, Tara wants to rescue Eggs, like an idiot. But the main problem I have with this situation is what Tara says to Sookie. She says, "How many times have you put yourself in danger for the man you love?" Well, realistically, some, but not the big one. Not the one that she'll feel the worst about when the truth comes out. Not yet. I'm beginning to think that they have no intention of following one of the biggest plot points of the books. Every chance they get to paint Bill in a positive light, as a victim, they take it. And I can only say, "It didn't happen like that."

Sam reveals he's a shifter to Jason and Andy, an increasingly strange and entertaining pair, btw. I have to say, I really love the stupid Jason lines. The best one this episode: "This is Armageddon. This is a book. This is The Oral History of the Zombie War." That's a fictitious book about zombies. A parody. That was priceless. Also, "That's in The Bible or The Constitution." I really love dumb Jason.

And Lafayette's having sex dreams about Eric as well. Although he doesn't enjoy them nearly as much as Sookie. "Somebody needs to slap that bitch." "I already have." was nice. I like how Sookie shares blood bonding stories with Lafayette like she's sharing complaints about frequent runs in each other's stockings.

Can I just say something about Lafayette's flashback things? I know they are not supposed to be funny, but I can not stop laughing until I cry when I see one. Andy Bellefleur was super weird, but it was hilarious. I'll tell you why. Alexander Skarsgard is a crazy good actor, so it's not just him in a dress, it's him acting like Lettie Mae. And I kind of love it. And I won't feel bad for laughing when Laffy is cowering in the corner.

And I also completely thought Alex was joking when he said he wanted to wear a dress on the show at Comic-Con (clip here). The saddest part about that scene? He was still sexy. I still say that that man is unfair to the entire male population -- and, strange and sudden revelation -- to the man who tries on Sookie's Fangtasia dress. I'd expect not being able to pull that one off is especially heartbreaking. Alexander Skarsgard: He's too dreamy.

Jason using the term "lady dog" amused me. He would think about that. Oh, Jason. You perv. The idea of Sam laying eggs and eating them was kind of strange as well. I found myself yelling at the screen, "He's not a lady chicken, Jason!" Not that he heard me.

When Sookie tells Lafayette she's going to do something, I fully expected some more weird telepathic glowey magic stuff. No, it was just a statue.

I'm a fan of whenever someone suggests that they go see Eric. There are actual cheers over here. Sam takes advice from Coby and Lisa, obviously not thinking too clearly lately. Missed that one himself. At Fangtasia, we have the very awesome Closed sign, "Sorry We're Dead."

Tara breaks away, thanks to bitchy Lettie Mae, and gets black-eyed again. Shocker. And she also summoned Maryann with her fake demon. Lovely. Best thing about this scene? Maryann's angry gerbil noise!

Sookie and Lafayette are storming the castle, so to speak, and all I can think is, "Sookie, what is in your purse?" You didn't drive, you're not going to tip the maenad for the lovely meat tree or the house sitting, why? At least use a messenger bag when you're battling to the death. Hands free is the way to go in this girl's opinion.

So, Sam asks Eric for help at Fangtasia, and he lounges there like he's in a photo shoot for GQ, smouldering at the youngins. Eric asks Sam if he could give him Sookie, calling it a "tribute," which I found interesting. In the books, Maryann asks Eric for a tribute directly, through her attack on Sookie. I can't recall Maryann calling hers a tribute quite so often as she calls for a "sacrifice." And it's not even for herself (as in the novels), but for another god.

Eric's interaction with the children has been a big hit, particularly the phrase, "teacup humans." I guess you would call this bittersweet if you're an Eric fan, counting the winking, the showing off his vampiric skills and not eating the children, but calling them "delicious" all the same. I'm sure the chatter on the Bill-friendly sites isn't nearly as light and "Aw. Eric! You rascal."

The flying scene was a bit anticlimactic, really It looked just the same as when they use the effect on Heroes. With this (above), I expected something flashier. Not that (below). In the books, I always pictured something more along the lines of hovering than actual Superman-style flying. I was more satisfied with the zoomy moves of last season, even if they were a bit cheesy.

Sookie pretty much walked into one of those cheesy haunted houses that they do for Halloween, only real. That's all I could think of when I saw it. Move from crazy hand chopping woman to intestine man to frisky coroner, all in the dark. And to the tune of screeching violins so you know you're supposed to be creeped out.

Of course, I thought, "Sookie's going to let him spoon her?" I had a yay Sookie moment when she was all, PAN FACE! Sookie's Fangtasia dress was also weird and amusing, but I thought the whole walk through was a little fake-looking.

Really perplexed by the egg. And the nest. Still.

About Lafayette and the last stand, or whatever you want to call it. Just another wtf, Maryann?! With the frickin' Wonder Woman powers.

Bill's visit with the Queen was something about which I was really concerned. I thought revealing that Bill had met Hadley would speed up the plot too much, but really, I don't think it revealed much of anything. At least not what it was supposed to. I'm worried that Bill's big downfall is just going to fizzle into a mix of information we already know and a man that's all tortured and conflicted and a victim of circumstance. That's not really what Bill is. But at this rate, I could see that happening. And I will not let the Bill fans be proved right. Not when I'm sure that they're wrong. I'm wacky that way.

I know the Bill or Eric debate is one for the ages, and a controversial one at its core, but I'm losing my faith in the writers' ability to convey the dickishness that makes Bill Compton the man we all know and compare to Eric.

Right now, I want to like Bill. I like Stephen Moyer and it pains me that we're going to see less of him as the seasons go by. If it weren't for the prospect of more Eric smirks, winks and tasty flesh (Zombie moment? There is a war brewing...), I might be more conflicted. But, what can I say? I take things for what they are. Only right now, what they are is wrong and colored with the positive spin of which I just can't approve. But revealing this big secret now would be ridiculous. That years of dramatic irony that would be a Maryann situation all over again. What is she? She's a maenad. Well, let's talk about it for two seasons. Then we'll tell you. That would be very bad, and boring and lose it's effect.

I guess I just want some book stuff to stay the same. There's things I love about certain books in the series and it just feels wrong without them.

So, lastly, we have the big Eric/Bill exchange, which is always just a big pissing contest. I especially like to watch Bill try to be tall next to Eric. Eric's flying hair is pretty brilliant, including the show of his vanity with the hands running through it, smoothing down.

Of course, Eric threatens Bill about Sookie, and Bill threatens Eric about the "V" dealing. It's strange that Eric is doing something the Queen doesn't know about. I think it's important to note that Bill admits to having given Sookie his blood, and that Eric is curious enough to guess that Bill had done so, presumably based on what he saw after Sookie's attack, or the fact that vampires often exchange blood with their lovers. This was something that many people commented on about the dream sequence. Eric looked very human-like because he had taken Sookie's blood earlier, whereas in real life, Bill had done the same and still looked very pale.

Overall, I feel the same way about this episode that I feel about most True Blood episodes. I'm extremely anxious to see it, obviously, but there's always a hint of apprehension attached. Maybe it's because I love the novels so much that any editing makes me sad. But I just can't feel right about the deletion of my favorite scenes (The Bill-Sookie hotel scene where Eric asks for a nightcap "Warm from the vessel," and mostly the Lycra. I will miss the Lycra.) in favor of the boring, repetitive and confusingly mysterious Maryann stuff. At least if they kill her off, we'll have a little peace from giant eggs and other similar wtf moments.

Episode 12 -- Eric! That's not Sookie!

Two weeks until True Blood's season finale, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'." (That's September 13.) I know she's the Queen and all, but Eric! That's not Sookie! I don't approve of vampire/vampire kissage when it comes to Eric and Sookie. Tsk tsk.

I hope they explain the egg, because I am very confused by the egg. Sometimes book to show changes make no sense to me at all. You think when Charlaine Harris thought, "Maenad," she also thought, "Giant egg."? I think not.

Bill's being painted really positively now, but I'm not so sure how sacrificing Sam will go over with Sookie. There's no way they're killing Sam, btw. Maenad, or no. I'm mostly concerned about Eric and Sophie-Anne. Which now that I think about it, did we even hear her name yet? I can't recall.

All I can say is, two more weeks, people. Two more weeks. And there were too many quick cuts in this one, not enough dialogue snippets for my taste. I guess we'll have to wait to find out what happens later. Two weeks. Frowny face.

UPDATE (9/7/09 at 9 p.m.): I'm not so sure I can enjoy these scenes with Eric and the Queen in the finale now. Not after rumors of Alexander Skarsgard and Evan Rachel Wood dating for real surfaced here. I said on Twitter earlier today, "This is worse than when I found out our zodiac signs were incompatible." It's still true. Although, I'm slowly convincing myself it's just a rumor. Please?

A & Me -- Cut Off My Arm, College.

It's 11:31 and I'm feeling shyt. I'm sitting home alone tonight. And I can't even watch True Blood online. (To the tune of "Backfire at the Disco" by The Wombats, if you please.) Note: This video is brilliant. People are jerks. I love Frosty's.

But seriously. Quirky song lyrics aside, I have something to say: I hate college. Why do I hate college? Well, for 3 weeks (2, but I'm blaming it for them not broadcasting on Labor Day as well) I hate it for keeping me away from my HBO. And my True Blood.

There are several things I've learned while REALLY waiting for True Blood. That's past Sunday, past 9 p.m. and past the point of my sanity. And I took the time to write them out in 10 colorful steps. You can actually pinpoint the moment I lost my mind.

Here I am, in my room in the semi-darkness in front of the computer, pacing back and forth stuffing my face with green grapes and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish (Original Style, fyi). And I feel like a mental patient. I'm compelled to eat these grapes, which are just sitting in my fridge, and I'm reminded of a story about my brother.

When he was little, after returning from the grocery store with my mother, he sat in front of the television with a bag of green grapes. He proceeded to eat the entire bag in one sitting and then threw up the same grapes all over himself.

Now, why am I reminded of this story? Because I'm getting pretty crazy. That is, I've eaten an entire bag of Goldfish and the grapes are just sitting there looking at me. I know that road leads to green vomit, but lack of True Blood has addled my brain.

But there are still lessons learned from this experience:

1. I thought waiting a week to watch True Blood was bad. Watching the hour between 9 and 10 o'clock tick by while you stare at the wall because you have no HBO is like watching someone cut off your arm and repeatedly beat you with it.

2. No HBO is the equivalent of being exiled to a Leper colony. At the time when you most want to vent, you're banned from all online outlets. That means Facebook, your favorite blogs and ESPECIALLY Twitter. (That includes BlogTalk. Frowny face.)

3. When you're waiting for an upload, sitting in the dark in front of your laptop, refreshing web pages every 40 seconds seems like a good idea. (For 3 hours.)

4. This waiting period feels somewhat like I'd imagine labor feels. There's shaking, sweating, mood swings, cursing and a sudden need for drugs. (Drugs = True Blood in this case.)

5. No True Blood Sunday at 9 p.m. makes me want to eat chocolate and ice cream more than any failed relationship ever could. If it ever gets cancelled, I'm padlocking my fridge or gaining 45 pounds.

6. Never knit while you wait. True Blood anxiety = Many dropped stitches and unhappy feelings.

7. People talk about masturbation in chat rooms more freely than they should. They're also stupid, mean and have terrible spelling and grammar.

8. I'd feel better about humanity if they didn't talk so much about boobs.

9. I get angry at people who just like Eric for his hotness or jumped on the bandwagon late in the game (after the dream sequence, much?). Chat names are usually something along the lines of Ericslover, Eric4Me and EricsBoyfriend. I feel like the best girl friend seeing her boy date another girl (or guy) when she wants him for herself.

10. I hate college. But only when it comes between me and my True Blood. Like sisters. I think those girls would be ripping off each other's heads if their man was Eric Northman.

There will be a recap when frickin' Niall Brigant sends a miracle my way. I've been working on the Newlin angle, and I think all that'll save me now is a little Fairy magic.

Sayonara from getting beaten by my own arm by my stupid education. More people would go to college if there was HBO. Hey, it goes along with my theory that taping Skars to my homework will improve my GPA. Melancholy thy name is Alison.

UPDATE: The end of this story? It's 1:04 a.m. I watched a jumpy grainy video with (thank God) good audio after several anxious hours. I also missed the last 15 minutes. Which I'm pretty sure was mostly Eric. And I'm also pretty sure that this time, that last bit of lovely True Blood actually exists. Unlike last week.

The end. Still armless. Like frickin' Jane Bodehouse when she's finished with that machete.

UPDATE: 11:15 a.m. Monday. Saw it all now. Recap will be up later tonight. Wtf, True Blood? Wtf. Giant egg?

Episode 11 -- It's Eric! He's snappy.

In next week's True Blood, called "Frenzy," there's a war a-brewin'! And among other things, we get to see Sam take a trip to Fangtasia and see Eric on his throne in a snappy suit (Lucky dog! Har de har.) and Pam in a sparkly red catsuit. I'd love to hear the story behind that one. Eric tells Sam that he "May know someone who might be able to offer something useful." Who? Who knows. Maybe the Queen, but we all know that Bill's tighter with her than Mr. Northman. Maryann's pissed (Shocker.) and still demanding her sacrifice. Well, everyone who isn't a zombie is going to ban together to save Bon Temps! And get rid of this season's most boring plot line. Get rid of Maryann? Yes, please.

What About Eric?! -- He's Dreamy. Bite me.

Well, I'm not as jazzed as I usually am right about now. I know, GASP at that for a moment, but it has a lot to do with the fact that this week's True Blood, "New World In My View," ended 15 minutes early this week! So there I was, sitting on the couch, all ready for a little more Eric screen time and cut to credits. Frowny face. How about 15 minutes of gratuitous Eric flesh? I don't think anyone would have complained about that, HBO.

Can I just have an aside for a moment? What are they thinking over at the show? First, they cut many of the memorable scenes from the novel while adding in hours of really boring Maryann stuff (basically an excuse for orgies.), then they give us a little more Eric. And we thank you. But the thing is, for most people, Sookie's sudden fondness for him comes completely out of left field. You can't blame it all on the blood exchange, either.

I can understand the idea of putting Eric in more scenes and having more of a romantic interaction between he and Sookie, but why would you cut all of the smaller instances of flirtation in Book/Season 1 and heap it all on us in the last few episodes?

I love the idea of Sookie dreaming of him, but the fact that Sookie comes downstairs and finds Eric crying and HE'S SHIRTLESS, the "This is a Dream" flags go straight up. At least leave a little mystery in there. The best thing about the Eric-Sookie dialogue in the book is the flirting, the joking, Eric's leers. I can't understand why there's nothing and then everything.

UPDATE: (8/24/09 9:26 p.m.) After watching this clip again, I want to point out a few more things. How cute is it the way his nose twitches when his fangs come out? And I'm going to amend what I said before and say that we do see a little more of Book Eric here, in that Sookie goes to pull away from a kiss and he grabs her hand, pulling her back. Sookie always needs that extra push over the edge if she's doing something she's not sure is a good idea, and Eric knows just when to help her along and when to passively flirt.

I'm glad they're finally putting more Eric into the episodes and creating this love triangle, but you can't just throw us Team Eric people a dream sequence every once and a while and expect us to be happy. There's this Big Scary Eric and there's the Sensitive Eric, with no happy medium. There's no impish flirt that we've come to love. I'm still waiting, HBO. Still waiting. End Eric rant.

So here we are, with Sookie, Jason and a becoffined Bill heading back to Bon Temps. They run over a couple of the locals (who are Sam's captors from an earlier episode, if you recall.). But basically the whole town's all gone to hell. And Maryann's a kid in Candyland. She's all "MORE MEAT!" for her, well, what Andy from Blood Work called a "Giant Meat Tree" on BlogTalk tonight. She's still a diva. And can anyone else appreciate those Dr. Seuss flowers (Beginning 1:55) she stuffed in there? It was like the frickin' Lorax (There he goes with his moustache.).

The influenced Eggs was sort of creepy in a overly positive kid's show actor way when he says, "So it's extra fresh?" after Maryann calls for organs and murder. Alright kids, what color is the spurty blood coming from Sam Merlotte's heart? Red! Gold stars!

I loved Andy and Sam together in this episode. Andy's she's a "She's a MAY- WHUT?" was pretty classic. And Sam's "I think she wants to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch," was up there too. For a "sometimes nudist," Sam sure doesn't show the free hippie zombie devil people much love.

The regular cast was looking really good this episode. I don't know whether that was because everyone else looked so horribly mussed and haphazardly clothed (if at all), but I did have a problem with Bill's Johnny Cash outfit earlier in the episode. But all I could think as Maxine Fortenberry was standing there in her fuchsia Hawaiian shirt playing Wii was that Sookie looked like she stepped out of an Ann Taylor ad.

I guess I should mention the fact that Jessica's had enough of ole Maxine and takes a bite out of her. I thought that Hoyt was going to throw himself in front of her or something, but we'll see how that plays out. I'm really glad that they went with having Maxine go after Jason, because I was cringing those scenes with the Jocasta set-ups there. I don't think I could have taken it.

There was a lot of instances when you weren't sure who was going to be affected and who was not. It was like a zombie movie. But, c'mon Sam! You knew that was a trap. How could it not be? And he and Andy go into the freezer. I especially love when Andy stops to grab the liquor bottle. Another great Sam-Andy line? Sam: "These are our friends and neighbors." Andy: (mutters) "And customers." Oh snap! Andy tells it like it is.

SPOILER for non-novel readers: We knew that Jason would be immune in the same way that Sookie was because of their lineage. But how that genetic quirk translates into full-on pulsing life force glowing thing... I don't know. I think that's an addition that lays on the, "WHAT?!" or so I like to yell at the T.V.

Are we just meant to assume that someone told Sookie that her house was now Maryann's house? Because she seems surprised when Maryann shows up and when Lafayette tells her to leave. But there she shows up at her house looking for Maryann after Hoyt says, "Party at Maryann's," etc. etc. That's a little fuzzy. And how are they going to bring Sookie's house back to normal for next season? I wonder if they're going to cop out and explain everything mystically. Like poof! Back to normal. There's a few "in the kitchen" scenes next season. I can't picture homey Southern life around all the vines and scum.

UPDATE: I think I expected a bigger reaction when Sookie found out about her house being orgy party central. About the time Bill, Sookie and Jason arrive, Hoyt mentions that Sookie's house is Maryann's house. All Sookie says is, "What?" As if Hoyt had just told her he ate the last Oreo. Actually, I would expect a bigger response for that. She reacted as if Hoyt told her he used the wrong setting on the lawnmower. This one line of dialogue slipped by me amid the saucer-eyed Maxine Fortenberry Wii fest. Apologies.

Another question about immunity to Maryann's influence: Why is Lettie Mae immune? At first I thought the reason Maryann allowed some people to be controlled and others not was so that it would keep up the charade. She left out the outsiders, so to speak. Think, there's: Lettie Mae (Drunk), Lafayette (Gay), Andy (Drunk), Sookie (Telepath = Weird/Crazy Sookie). -- That would be before we knew about her immunity. It would make sense for her to selectively influence people, but I'm not quite sure where they're going with this whole thing. I just hope it ends somewhere close to Eric in pink Lycra... (If you want a Lycra spoiler, it's the last paragraph of the plot summary here.)

Sadly, probably not, but a girl can hope.

Maybe I'm watching too closely and too frequently, but I feel like they're hitting you over the head with a lot of the maenad clues this season. Bill's reading that book in the flashback about Greek Myths after we already heard Maryann talking about Greek maids and gods. Then, OH! HELLO AUDIENCE! THIS IS IMPORTANT! There's something wrong in there. It's getting a little too obvious with the foreshadowing.

Since I talked about the Sookie's Moon Tiara Magic! (har de har... Maybe I wasn't that far off last week...) in the spoiler part, let me just say that the first thing I wrote in my notes after that scene was BULLSHIT! Seriously? How does Sookie's telepathy translate into blue glowey psychic force field magic?!

Of course, Bill drinks from Maryann, and gross vomit scenes ensue. Is it weird that I thought that Bill vomited with an accent? Oh, was that just me? And then just as I'm thinking, well, yelling at the T.V. again, "WHY DON'T YOU CALL ERIC?!" Sookie says, "I'm callin' Eric." It's nice when the television is interactive.

I really enjoyed the, what a lot of the chatters have been calling, "Jambo" scenes. Jason with a bandoleer, nail gun and chainsaw. Oh boy. And the set dressing at Merlotte's was pretty priceless too. Notice the bobcat and goose stuffed animals with Mardi Gras beads around their necks? Nice touch. My main thought during the Jason scenes was, "Wtf is he going to do?" The answer: Slice a stereo in half with a chainsaw. I should have known.

Terry Bellefleur's part was amazing, and although I'm a non-smoker, I loved the way his cigarette moved when he talked, with the black eyes and everything. Pretty awesome. He really took charge of the situation. Good for him. If his main objective wasn't to fillet Sam, I'd be cheering right about now.

When Bill and Sookie head over to save Tara and Bill goes all fangy for the V-buyer, I had a "Yay Bill!" moment. Shocker. Bill does scary well. The fangs help. And Lafayette isn't afraid to let it slip that Eric's pushing him to sell the stuff. Which is probably a mistake. Has his basement time taught Lafayette nothing?

Black-eyed Tara is super creepy. Like really creepy. Bravo, Rutina. That laugh gave me chills. And did you notice that the go-to insult for Sookie's enemies is the "C" word? Think about it: Steve Newlin, Zombie Tara and Denise Rattray come to mind. Sookie saying the Latin phrase that all the zombies were repeating in her accent was a nice moment for me. I had a giggle at that. This scene was a chance for Sookie to play a more active role (in her own frickin' show...) but I don't know if I'm 100 percent happy with it. The tag team saving thing was interesting, but again, I have to say that I'm not so sure they explained it well.

For book folks, we know that Sookie has a sort of hypnotic power that is introduced at the beginning of Living Dead In Dallas, when she helps interrogate vampire bar employees in Dallas to help find Farrell, the missing vampire. Godric actually lures the Dallas vampire to be kidnapped and taken to the Fellowship. But that scene was left out in the show, and the magical Tara-saving was explained away with one throw-away line. They're just relying on the fact that people know the story too much. There's confusion when they leave out large chunks of the novel.

In other Jambo news: I effing love Jason. He uses his "I'm scary!" gas mask that he used to scare Amy Burley last season (Look for it at :52). And is shirtless. And exclaims, "It's me! The guy who comes!" and at Terry Bellefleur's "Bullshit. God has horns!" adds a nice pair of tree branch horns. I had to ask myself, "Why flares?" in there, but I guess the actions of Jason Stackhouse cannot be explained.

Sam's "Smite me!" was perfect with the twitching and the flashlight going. That was hilarious. I think that really saved the whole episode for me. I did wonder where Sam got that apron, though. It's not like Andy's never seen him in the buff before. Plus shifters aren't the most modest people.

Although that scene was really funny, in the end, there was just not enough Eric, and a little too much Maryann, and a lot of weird shit happening without any real explanation.

Visiting the Queen's compound was pretty epic (Note: I just typed Eric there. Not even thinking about it. Have Eric typing syndrome.). Bill's in slow motion and as Dallas from Loving True Blood in Dallas said on BlogTalk, The Queen's compound was also "badass." I wrote that exact word in my notes. So it must be true. I like how the queen has secret service people. In the book, I always pictured them as more like guards. Like military style. This was more political. So that's a surprise for me.

Well, we're back to square Season 1 in the Eric department. Let's hope he's not just a glorified extra next episode. At least this one proved what we've been saying all along: Eric's dreamy. Only now, it's literally. Eric dreams? I'll take one please, extra shirtless. And a little bite never hurt anyone. At least not anyone who lived to tell about it.

Oh, and people, after next week's episode, we have to wait until SEPTEMBER 13th for the finale! Suckfest, right? Think happy bitey Eric thoughts until then.

The Strange Phenomenon -- Blood Pop or Cake?

There's something going around. And it's not the carousel in Schenley Plaza. (Or a record...) No, it's True Blood fanvid makers and an obsession with Evanescence.

I was searching some YouTube videos for my last post earlier and I kept seeing the same things pop up on my search. Every other set-to-music clip I clicked on was from Evanescence. In just a few minutes of searching, I found 10 different clips that used an Evanescence song. 10. And it's not over yet. I can't add them to my playlist all day, so here are the search results. That's a lot of that... stuff.

Okay, I dimly recall Evanescence being one of Sookie's songs to sing in the car, but unless all those people read so closely that they all remember that one line from one book (which I doubt), and made the connection, I'd understand. But if that were the case, we'd have The Dixie Chicks and Carrie Underwood over Eric's smirking and Sookie's glares. And I'm sorry to say so, but Book Sookie does not have as rich a music palette as does Show Sookie.

Now, I'll admit it. I am a music snob. You can clap if you want, offer me buttons and party hats and cake, but I'm not going to quit being one. I will forever be a music snob, but something that I'm willing to change? You people, and if I could, Book Sookie Stackhouse. But don't get the wrong idea. I just want to help.

Here's my theory for the Evanescence/True Blood phenomenon:

You're listening to Top 40, MTV before they discover the indie stuff after the album's been out for a year or two and someone decides to use it in a movie... Exhibit A: M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes," (Original and Pineapple Express) Exhibit B: Muse's "Supermassive Black Hole." (Original and Twilight - still don't understand this, btw. Listen to the lyrics. Think of Edward and Bella. Oh yeah, that's them. Oh, and just to prove my point about the overexposedness here's a video from the baseball scene with what? EVANESCENCE.)

You need some dark pop to match up to your dark and dirty vampire show. Think about it. What is out there? I'm no popular music connoisseur, but I can't think of one other than Evanescence. Again, another movie soundtrack pick up (Daredevil), but the difference between Evanescence and Muse is that one is good and the other is... not. The first set of videos contain the song probably the one you'll remember from Daredevil, "Bring Me To Life." The second set features "My Immortal" over an actual scene from the film.

But I don't blame you if you like them, or if you use them in a True Blood video. You're already a better pop culture person in my estimation because you care enough about True Blood to post a video (unless it's about Bill... just kidding. I want to like Bill, but Eric keeps winking at me.). Anyway, you don't know anything better.

I'll tell you a secret: Once upon a time, I listened to some pretty embarrassing music. And I will not utter those words here, but let's just say I was a kid in the 90's so you can probably guess my shame. It actually took good television soundtracks for me to make that transition from what I would now call, "I'll never tell and will deny it if it gets out," to "I like that song I heard on T.V." to "I have no idea who they are." You'll be hearing that last one in no time. And you'll be hearing those shame bands... never.

Here we go:

Alison's Lessons in Dark Pop/Rock, What to Apply to True Blood Scenes, and How It's Already Been Done Right

How It's Already Been Done Right:

My choice for the True Blood music video done right is this one by smvgrey74. It's a tribute to Godric set to Band Of Horse's "The Funeral."

I'll you why this is such an amazing video. Check the comments. At least 3 people's first comment was, "What's the song?" The fact that smvgrey chose a more obscure piece means several things:

1. Her work is unique. -- Check the number of True Blood fan videos that use an Evanescence song. Now check the number that use a Band Of Horses song. Well, here are the results, and as far as I can see, besides smvgrey's, there's zero.

2. She's using music to its full advantage. -- The best fanvids match up both music and lyrics to the clips. Anyone can choose a song. It's not that hard. Choosing one that fits means a lot more. It will strengthen the emotion, the humor and the romance. There's nothing like a good song.

3. She's exposing people to new music. -- One of the reasons I love True Blood so much is the amazing soundtrack. Now that's not only the score, but the songs chosen by the professionals. Let's not forget that every episode title is a song. That's True Blood at its core. It's about good music. The same goes for a fan video. Maybe I'm a little biased about her song choice since I know and love the band already. But it makes me smile to see that so many people loved it too.

It's like smvgrey made a big cake and she's sharing the new recipe with everyone. That's how the indie goes mainstream. It's word of mouth at first. Sure, now most of that word of mouth is actually typed and beamed out to millions of people on the internet, but there's still your good old magazines and radio. They know what's what. I'd go on to say that great underground music is just as delicious and elusive as Caroline Holliday Bellefleur's chocolate cake. And if you've read the novels, you know how amazing that is. You only get it when someone dies.

What to apply to True Blood scenes:

I'd say that more than music style, it's the lyrics that you should concentrate on. I'm not saying that it's a good idea to set romantic exchanges to yodel music if they're talking about something similar, but it's better to stray musically than lyrically. Think about it this way: You're telling a story, they're telling a story. You just want those stories to mesh well. The music added to a scene isn't telling the story of what you're watching onscreen. It's telling the story of what the characters are feeling. You can tell that Bill's a vampire just by looking. You don't need to chose a song that says, "I'm a vampire," literally. Although that isn't always a bad thing. Choose the feeling behind that. The "I'm tortured," "I want to be loved," or "I'm emo." (That last one was a joke. I'm making friends all over the place today.)

Alison's Lessons in Dark Pop/Rock:

Maybe these won't all help you out with a video, but they'll help your playlists. If you're looking to expand your dark-themed pop/rock and more specifically, your True Blood fan video tracks, I'd start with these:

From a general vampire place: Radiohead -- An oldie but a REALLY goodie. Maybe with Thom Yorke's vocals you can't always understand the lyrics, but they're dark and clever and amazing. I'd point to "We Suck Young Blood." Queens of the Stone Age -- Tend to be heavy on the rock, but I'd suggest "The Blood Is The Love" for Vampires. (For more vampire songs see my old Playlist post: "A Fangy Salut.")

From a character-based POV: The Twilight Sad or Yeah Yeah Yeahs -- "Modern Romance" A good Bill and Sookie one, originally sung by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but covered by The Twilight Sad. (Lyrics here.) Neither band is usually this mellow, but this is a sort of a track by track and not blanket rule deal.

The best Evanescence replacement I can suggest, both in general and from a True Blood fan video standpoint is Bat For Lashes -- That is, if you're looking for something a little closer to Evanescence's brand of pop (If Evanescence and Cat Power had a baby that was smarter than one of them...). For TB I'd chose "I'm On Fire" (Lorena and Bill, anyone? From Sookie's POV. It's also a Springsteen cover altered a bit.) or "What's a Girl to Do" (For some Bill/Eric reflection! Plus the video is weird and I love it.) or "Glass" (From an FotS place, sort of a Sarah Newlin finding her knight, Jason questy feel.) (All lyrics here.)

Reason You Should Not Hate Me:

Listen. I'm sorry if this offends you Evanescence lovers out there. But if you can't giggle at the sheer volume of Evanescence/True Blood fanvids, then there is something wrong with you. I'll tell you right now, it's not because they're the best band ever. It's because they're more exposed. I also really like all the Evanescence fanvideos I chose, excepting the music. If you're uncomfortable with the way I've used your work, contact me and I'll take it down. I hope you understand that I'm not criticizing anyone personally. Except for Evanescence. And I hope you'll think about these alternatives for future videos or search out the more obscure of the genres.

P.S. If @SookieBonTemps does another song contest, I'm screwed. I'll have a lot more competition if anyone actually reads this.

Eric Tees -- Sigh. And Not the Good Kind.

I both love and hate to tell you this. They are now selling Eric Northman and True Blood t-shirts at Hot Topic. Sigh. (An exasperated one, not the good kind.)

Why do you ruin everything I love, Hot Topic?

Let me tell you. For now it's okay, but the first time I see someone wearing an Eric shirt who wouldn't know Eric's ceremonial dagger from his bic, I may have to scream.

When they start printing GP jokes on them, I may have to off myself. And any girl who pronounces his name any of the following: Saarsgard, Skarskard, Derrick or Alec. And I'm throwing in "That guy." for good measure.

You have been warned. And when I pass the store in the mall, I may have to fall to my knees and cry bloody tears when I scream, "HBO, don't do it. Please! Please! Please. HBO," in Old Swedish. (Too soon?)

Not that it'll help anything, but maybe @EricNorthman will eat any of the people who are unworthy. He'd enjoy the sport.

Maybe it was naive of me to think that True Blood would have a cult following forever. But it looks like our favorite Viking is going to populate those dark-colored shelves with our favorite Sparkly Pansies. And then I will die a little inside. And it won't be from sexy Eric bites.

UPDATE: Friends are the best. Now, I was feeling all sad about the prospect of Eric Northman becoming a Hot Topic commodity but Nystacular knows just what to say. "Think of it this way, she's just a fangbanger." To which I could only reply, "Awwww. Because then we're Sookie Stackhouse and Eric loves us! (Mostly me.)"

You know you're friends are awesome when they make you feel better with obscure pop culture references. So, I'm spreading the love around. There is hope. Don't worry. The zippered Hot Topic girls are the Gingers and the ones who really appreciate him are the Sookie Stackhouses. Best idea ever.

Sailor Moon -- My Grade School Sookie

After revisiting my childhood pop culture faves with last night's post and An American Tail, I looked up another one. I used to love Sailor Moon. I even had the theme birthday party with the cake, cups and the paper plates with Sailor Moon winking up at all my party guests. I can remember watching it with my friends and lusting after stuffed Luna dolls at the mall.

But what I didn't remember was the villain seen in the video below is sporting some nasty fangs, then turns into an evil-looking corpse dressed in a harem outfit. That very well may have been my first vampire, but a saw more of a connection to Sookie Stackhouse's role than to any of the True Blood vampires.

Unless you count them as objects of my affection and fictitious character crushes. Oh, Tuxedo Mask, why don't they wear the capes anymore? Oh, yes. Maybe this is why. Racerback tanks are more badass.

Sailor Moon was my grade school Sookie Stackhouse. It's not just because they're both tough, spunky blondes, it's all they represent: A strong female role model. Of course, True Blood doesn't always paint Sookie as she was written. There's a lot more "Save me, Bill!" than I can remember reading, but the principle's the same. Like Serena, all Sookie needs is a little motivation and she saves the whole world. Even if she sometimes gets distracted by the cute guys. (Note the fact that Tuxedo Mask is the gentlemanly tall, dark and handsome, Sailor Moon's the fair-haired heroine and the evil guy's a blond with similar new Eric hair?)

Lessons Learned from This Rediscovery:

1. Eric Northman still trumps every fictional character (and real-life?) crush I've ever had.

2. Sailor Moon was probably the reason for my elementary school obsession with Feminism.

3. Luna was responsible for my Crazy Cat Lady tendencies. (I thought I might be a Sailor Scout.)

4. Cartoon hair is ridiculous. And awesome. (And sometimes talks to you?)

5. It's okay for heroines to cry and wear skirts and short shorts if they get results.

6. Whether it's a tiara or a chain, my girly role models can turn bitches to dust, save their worlds and their loves.

There's someone to teach you about life through pop culture at every stage of your life. Sailor Moon set a standard for me at a young age. She's all about justice and love and cute outfits. Without that, I can't imagine that I'd feel the same about Sookie.

UPDATE: I can't stop watching this Sailor Moon clip. Old habits die hard?

What About Eric?! -- Proof of Bill Wickham!

Now, I'd like to add onto my earlier "What About Eric?!" post and add some visual aids to strengthen my Pride and Prejudice Eric-Darcy/Bill-Wickham argument. I'm not saying too much because I don't know exactly how the story will play out book to show, but I will put up these little snippets for your consideration.

Take a look, my friends. See any similarities? Add in a couple of leers and a pair of fangs and you've got Mr. Northman. Although I don't think Mr. Darcy would be quite so vocal about wanting to get into Elizabeth Bennet's petticoat. Oh, and take a minute to picture Alexander Skarsgard in those pants. What was I saying again?

And Mr. Wickham, where did you get that haircut? At Vampire Bill's House o' Sideburns? I think so. And you don't have to picture Stephen Moyer in those regimentals. His Civil War duds are close enough aesthetically. (P.S. I kind of love the screen caps for these videos side by side. It makes me right. Down to the letter. I am observant.)

UPDATE: Darcy and Elizabeth are also really big on the eye contact, as you can see. And while he has many admirers, seeks to have the best woman or none at all. I'm pretty sure Eric Northman would enjoy a country dance just about as much as Mr. Darcy does initially, but I don't think he'd mind feeding on a few ladies' femoral arteries for his trouble before he scowls and goes to chat with Pam. What would Vampire Darcy do? That remains to be seen. (They already fought the zombies!)

Episode 10 -- It's Eric! Possibly Shirtless?

Next week's True Blood is called, "New World in My View." Oh, more Maryann. My favorite. Maybe it'll all be worth it to see Jason wielding a chainsaw. Maybe he'll chop his arm off! I hope not. Who's idea was it to give Jason a chainsaw? And... I just noticed the colorful graffiti. The residents of Bon Temps have turned into the dude from Superbad (Exhibit A beginning 3:12). Only one flash of bitey Eric... but very possibly shirtless?

What About Eric?! -- It's Wickham and Darcy.

This post is coming a little later than usual because I, like I suspect many of you, needed a moment or two to collect my muddled thoughts. And to stop drooling. And spazzing in front of the TV. I also felt it was quite necessary to watch the dream sequence again, not only to enjoy the... splendor... but to catch the lines of dialogue due to my distractedness during the first viewing. Oh, Eric. Yes, please.

In Episode 9, "I Will Rise Up," we saw a bit more emotion, and a focus on the family units in True Blood. That means there was Lettie Mae Thorton and Maxine Fortenberry acting maternal. (Surprisingly strong in Lettie Mae's case and unsurprisingly bitchy in Maxine's.) The babies remark from Mamma Hoyt was a low blow. But we know she's "full of hate."

But I can't contain myself any longer over the Eric scenes, and the explosion, so I must leave the family stuff for later.

How incredible was the bullet suck? I have been on pins and needles waiting to see if that scene would be cut in the book-to-show transition. Gladly, it remained, with a little tweaking.

So, the bomb goes off and there's squishy guts everywhere. And there goes Eric, covering Sookie. To protect her... maybe. Or because he's "opportunistic" (wink wink)? In the book, I imagined this as a face-to-face positioning, and I think it was. But, it worked out well here. When Eric leans back and grins fangily, I swore he was about to wink at the camera. I wish he had.

I lament the omission of the book Eric-Sookie kiss, after Eric's lust is kindled by the blood and Sookie taking his, where he says, "Your lips are bloody," and proceeds to... rectify that situation with his own.

Bill then explains that Sookie and Eric will have a blood bond of sorts. Sookie reacts to this by girly punching Eric and calling him an "A-hole." I kind of love it when he's all, "Yes, Bill, I do believe I can sense her emotions." and after she calls him a "monster," there's the classic, "I think I'm gonna cry." I love Eric.

Things I don't understand: Bill grabbing the Fellowship dudes and biting then claiming to have shown mercy. Hey, I guess he didn't chain them up in a basement or rip of their extremities, but he's no Mother Theresa.

Oh, and Bill: Why did you have to say SEXUAL like someone's Health teacher? No complaints about Eric and SEXUAL anything, Mr. Compton. At least not from me. His attractions are working without that blood bond, unless you know something I don't. The way Bill talks about it, you'd think Eric was frickin' Quasimodo or something.

I loved Jason's thumbs up for guts! I eeeewwwed after Luke's severed hand, of course it was the honesty ring one. (Sidebar: You know you're Twittering too much when you see a severed hand and think, NEW Twitter account for someone! @LukesHand... Hey, there's @EricsButt.)

Sookie and Jason's hotel conversation was very real, and touching, if not a teensy bit sullied by the fact that Jason was in a robe and chatting about his "sexual abilities." Maybe I'm more of a prude than Sookie, but I don't think I'm cool enough to be comfortable with that kind of talk with mon frere.

Lafayette was a big hero this week. He may be a "person of low moral character," but I loved him for being a good cousin and for taking Tara out of a bad situation whether she wants to be taken or not. The mix of emotions you felt when he tossed Tara over his shoulder pretty much embodied the show's appeal for me. It was a little funny, but it was sad and also strange and creepy with her hollering and black eyes.

So sick of Maryann, btw. And give Sam something better to do than run from Maryann. Or be a fly. Yeah, that was Sam Trammell's best performance so far! He really pulled off the fly. Geez. I like Sam, not every woodland creature that is good at fleeing from mobs and maenads.

Maxine's culinary prowess astounded me. Yeah. It was cheese toast with chips. And it was even the plastic cheese. Hoyt standing up for himself made me smile, and the fact that he's all, "I'm a grown-ass man!" ...but I'll take this sandwich!

I'll admit that I thought he looked a little more attractive to me standing up in that room with the low ceiling. Is Eric Northman inspiring tall guy fetishes? What? Who said that? For a moment, I thought Hoyt would deserve a card on Blood Work this week over Eric, even with the bullet suck. Little did I know...

Listen, I took notes during this scene, and just for a picture of how muddled my thoughts were, I will type them out verbatim, and then translate/elaborate with my real, second viewing notes.

Alison's notes, Take 1: HOLY CRAP! Hard to focus on dialogue... AAAAH! Hair. Just a taste of later. "There's love in you." "Only for Sookie." HE DESERVES A CARD. Guilty sex! Good Lord that was hot.

So, let's translate that, and add in my real notes (albeit still forcing my brain to focus when there's naked Skarsgard): I fully expected a guilty sex scene when Sookie wakes and turns to Bill. But, I guess that'll happen later, since it follows the formula (See the original post at Blood Bonds Blog).

NOTE POSSIBLE SPOILERS for non-book readers this paragraph... One of the things about the dream sequence is the fact that you pretty much could have taken it out of Dead to the World. And I appreciate the fact that they dropped another hint at Sookie's lineage. "Can't trade the sun for the moon and the stars."

You'll notice that he didn't bite her, which I expected, but they really meant to humanize him, yet again. But isn't this all coming at once for people who haven't been waiting all this time for Eric's real personality to come out? There weren't as many breadcrumbs left to lead you home to our "sense of humor" or love for "only Sookie" Eric. The first we saw of him was last episode. Hell, I loved it. But that doesn't mean everyone else will if you didn't set it up from day one like Charlaine Harris did.

This episode really showed the Eric I loved since Loving Dead in Dallas. The impish flirt, the loyal, the sensitive and noble man. He smirks and plays at a time when many of his brethren are dead. Bill punches Eric at a really, really bad time and he walks away. He cares for Godric enough to cry in front of Sookie, enough to offer himself to die in support of his maker. The dream Eric is really our future Eric, and the one we know is in there, it's both touching and painful, to see him like that now. Let me tell you, there are going to be a lot of red faces come two years from now, if there is a True Blood god.

The Godric parts were emotional, and I'm not a Godric fan, but you really saw the Sookie that Charlaine Harris wrote, come out. Maybe that's because the "Meeting the Sun" scene was done very similarly in print. I loved Sookie for taking Eric's hand and crying while Godric burned. And I loved her for being herself and doing what was right and not hiding behind Bill, for once.

I've talked to people who only watch the show and they ask me why when I say Sookie is my favorite character next to Eric. Well, this is why. I like the flirting with Eric-Sookie and the crying for Godric-Sookie and the cares for her brother-Sookie. I even like the cares for Bill-Sookie. But enough is enough. You are your own woman, Sookie Stackhouse, and it's not your job to run to Bill every time something goes south! At the very least you should run to Eric. He's not going to coddle you.

You know what my Bill and Eric philosophy is? Why would you want Mr. Wickham when Mr. Darcy's right there? I mean, HE'S GOING TO MARRY YOUR SISTER! Metaphorically speaking, Ms. Stackhouse. Wake up and smell your Mr. Northman. Preferably naked. Take a note from Elizabeth Bennet. She got it right, and I'm getting tired of waiting for you to follow suit.

Episode 9 -- What, No Eric?!

Relax. Relax. Of course there will be Eric in Ep.9 of True Blood, "I Will Rise Up." Just not in this preview. It looks like we'll see a lot of mamas next week. Both Lettie Mae Thorton and Maxine Fortenberry make an appearance. Bill doesn't look too happy about the explosion and Maryann needs herself a sacrifice in the form of our favorite shifter. There's no Eric, Sookie, Jason or Godric in it though. Can anybody say, cliffhanger? But, is it really? Goodbye, Sookie Stackhouse and Eric Northman or Hello, really gullible people?

What About Eric?! -- The Dweeby Debonair

Where to begin this week? Any where's good, but at the beginning is best when I'm so excited and ready to gush. I believe this was my favorite True Blood episode to date. This week's, Ep. 8, "Timebomb" was a Beck song, which made the music lover in me all warm and fuzzy at the thought ("Timebomb" music video here). But they really pulled out all the stops.

Let's get to it. This was basically the Jason Stackhouse episode. I think his response to a paintball crotch shot by Sarah Newlin was pretty priceless. "Sweet Jesus!" And then, to dumb FotS member who questions, "Is that a paintball gun?" ... "Um... yes." Classically Jason Stackhouse, all puffed up and heroic, but still sort of stupid.

I rather enjoyed seeing Jason still defending his sister, knocking Sarah Newlin over and shooting Steve Newlin in the hand and face with the paintball gun.

I kind of loved his moment with Bill where he describes his FotS insanity as "sucked out my brain and put their own babies in there." And Bill was a little bit of a jerk to him with the hug, which granted, vampires don't do, but how many times as Bill hugged Sookie? He can't accept a hug from her brother?

And as a segue, let's address the cute-but-scary Eric-Jason conversation, which was kind of a threatening big brother talk in reverse. Jason should be the one putting Sookie's would-be suitor in his place, but Eric all but pats poor Jason on the head. (You ever notice how Eric episodes are usually Jason episodes? Both "Plaisir d'amour" and "Escape from Dragon House" in Season 1, for example.)

How hysterical was Human Eric? (Starting 4:18) I think I just about lost it when he all smoothly leans into Sookie and whispers seductively, "Trust me." and proceeds to hang his head, shrug his shoulders and use the word "dang." That moment explained a lot about Eric. He sees humans as sort of bumbling nerds, apparently. And I kind of love it.

I had a Home Alone moment when Eric walks away all, "I'll be fine." (One of his lines from Generation Kill, I hear, but don't remember. Too much time spent oogling to remember lines?). Even though I've read the books, I feel like anything can happen. Maybe Eric won't die, but there might be some damage to his pretty face and we can't not worry about that. Anyway, what I found most interesting about his sacrificial moment was that after Bill comes into the church and the FotS members are basically defeated, Sookie doesn't fall into Bill's arms, but runs to save Eric from the silver chain.

We saw Eric smile more in this episode than in any so far, and what a treat it is, fangs or no. And at the party, Eric's entrance into the Bill and Sookie conversation also had me cracking up. "Mmmmm. Heard my name. I hope you were speaking well of me." I don't know how Eric can be this incredibly sexy, powerful force and also sound something like that annoying dude who can't take a hint. I think if I didn't love Eric so much, I wouldn't insanely laugh every time they make him say something a little nerdy. I like the idea of him being so confident in himself that he manages to be menacing, dweeby and charming at the same time. Pretty much perfect.

What was Sam thinking? I can't figure out his reasoning, wrapping her halfway up in a trash bag, like some kind of trash bag mermaid and then calling the police. And in other Daphne news... we finally found out what was in the weird stew served at the orgies, and in this case, in a souffle served to Eggs and Tara.

That whole scene was very bizarre, and I'm still sick of the Maryann stuff. They've drawn out that story way too long. They've dropped so many clues that I feel like I'm watching a blue cartoon dog. Tara and Eggs: Searching for Paw prints... and slapping each other in the face.

But you had to love that shot of the souffle. I mostly enjoyed the noise that the knife made as it cut and the blood spurted out. I understand that Eggs and Tara were compelled to eat once they took a bite, but the first one? You can't help but think, why would you eat that? It doesn't look good. It looks like blood. You wonder why they would even touch it.

Oh, and Maryann? You're not supposed to cut meat on a wooden cutting board! You'll give yourself foodborne illnesses! No one wants to do nasty, lusty things while their food spurts out of both ends, Maenad!

The only thing I can say about the Hoyt-Jessica scenes is, ew. While I thought, geez, he got those buttons undone fast, then said awww that his shirt had snaps, there was a t.m.i. moment in there. Enough said.

I also have a problem with Godric. I don't understand their reasoning for him without the book's explanation. I think without that, his being there makes no sense. His apprehension of Gabe makes no sense. I can't wait to see their reasons for his whole deal beyond, "They kidnapped me, I didn't want to kill them." It just doesn't jive with the hints dropped earlier, unless that was meant to mislead the novel readers.

The Lorena-Sookie scene was yet another example of where Godric (who isn't supposed to be there) intervenes when it could have been Eric. I wanted it to be Eric. Sometimes, it just doesn't feel right when people who weren't there in the scenes in the novels are there in the show. Most of the time, I say to myself, that wasn't better than it was done in the novels. It was just different for the sake of being different. (AND what was with Lorena's hair...?)

I suppose any book-to-show changes can be forgiven this week with the insertion of Human Eric. That was just brilliant and hilarious and soooo worth it.

You have to love when they give the people what they want. (More. Eric.)