Mom, Porpoises Were Bound to Come Up.

This post is probably one of the most random I've ever had cause to write. It's also a few weeks off, but hey, college.

I don't know if you could call it a college road trip tale, but it was a trip to college. That's 5 and a half hours of quality car time with my mother.

Let me tell you a story.

It's a trip, so things are going to go wrong. Maybe in this case, so wrong it's right. About half an hour out and we discover that the iPod speakers aren't charged. Now, I was armed with my iPod and headphones anyway because I don't particularly enjoy my mom's music, which tends towards the extra folky, feminist-type style. But I'd choose that over what we got any day.

We're on the way to Pittsburgh and subject to hours of good ole pan-and-scan radio. That's through Western Pennsylvania.

What does that mean? Some weird shit. And a hell of a lot of country.

I think I've had some of the weirdest conversations of my life in those few hours. It's funny how a certain song or sight sparks a conversation. And also leads you to strange and comical places.

Conversation #1: Alison Sees a Boy with a Dog By the Side of the Highway

A: "There's a boy playing with a dog."

M: "How Americana."

A: "It was a German Shepard."

Conversation #2: Alison Stops Scan on a Kings of Leon Song

A: "Oh, wait. This is Kings of Leon. This station might be good. It might not, though, they've recently crossed over."

Radio: That was Kings of Leon, and now, Lady Gaga!

M: *Eyes*

A: "Okay, yeah."

Conversation #3: 70's Porn Music

M: "God. That sounded like something from a 70's porn movie."

Alison hears "Porpoise" in there somewhere. Pictures Porpoise with 70's pornstache.

M: "That was pretty bad."

Alison tries not to giggle.

LATER AT THE HOTEL...

A: "You don't even understand why that was so funny. I need help."

I so do.

There's something about my brain that just has to put things together. But I guess it runs in the family.

Maybe that's just one more lesson learned. The other? The hits of great bands are not always the best of the best. But you knew that. I think I heard the Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody" about 400 times on that trip. Don't they know that "Closer" is loads better? It's about vampires. Even "Sex On Fire" lends itself for Eric Northman mistaken identity. (Racerback.) I've done this at least twice.

Pan-and-scan is good for one thing, and one thing only: Amusement at the absurdity.

In the same block I heard a radio ad for an event that was described as fun for everyone, and I quote, "country to rock to clowns and magicians." Those clowns know how to party.

But the best radio find had to be this gem from the 80's. Yeah. That's right. "Sunglasses at Night." Please watch this video. It's even better than the song itself. The earrings. The lady cop uniforms. The singing into pay phones. Random thy name is Corey Hart.

The country, the swinging 80's hits and synthesizers, it was a little excruciating. But at least I have a story to tell.

One thing's for sure, I didn't expect the "Porpoise" conversation to come so soon. I should have known. A 6-hour drive. I guess porpoises were bound to come up.

Washington Irving -- Not Like Wishbone.

I'll tell you one thing, folks. Wishbone lied to me. Every piece of literature seems pretty incredible when it's re-enacted by a talking dog. Well, he sort of talks. But really, what's the story, Wishbone? It's that Alison can not finish "Rip Van Winkle" to save her life. Instead, I'm pretty sure that watching catchy theme songs with dogs in costumes is a favorable alternative:

The other point of this story? "Rip Van Winkle" yields kid-friendly edutainment. I found this rendition of "Bat Van Winkle" by alexbrandonclark as well. You can tell why: I was intrigued by the music choices. That's Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, kids! And I have a soft spot for bats. Ever since I read Silverwing.

I was such a literary kid, and what am I now? I'm a college girl, a Skars-craving, selective vampire fiction reader and Eric-watcher who can't get through a short story assignment. It's times like these when I realize why people always said they hated English classes in high school. Well, in college, not much has changed.

What's a girl to do when they don't present classic literature with the easy-to-digest spunky terriers and cartoons?

Um... I guess, type up yet another nostalgic blog post about the bygone pop culture days of my youth? Spend a little time searching YouTube videos and discovering that Jensen Ackles was on Wishbone (4:40)?

That sounds about right.

UPDATE: Finished that... thing. It got better after he got all old. I must say that the bats helped me keep the story straight in my head. I can't say I recall so many trippy bats with pirate eye patches, though. There was just the one...

Alexander Skarsgard -- Hot Captain Planet?

I decided not to post every new development on Mr. Skarsgard, but how can I not share the good news when Alexander Skarsgard turns out to be a hot Captain Planet?

I can't help but be impressed by his environmentalism. He recently joined "Tails for Whales," and now the good people over at Skarsgard News are making copies of his anchor jewelry and donating the profits to the cause! So, it's got Alexander Skarsgard, it's got whales and saving the environment. Read the story here (... there are also some shirtless pics if that's more of an incentive.)

Funny story about this necklace? I recently had a discussion with a friend about it. After seeing the recent pictures of the actor in LAX, she said to me, "You remember the necklace."

Of course, I did not remember. So I asked her to show me where I'd seen it before. Well, it just so happens that the one place I'd seen it was in those shirtless pics... in the form of the Facebook Application, "Alexander Skarsgard," in one very aptly titled, "Grr. Alex." So there you have it.

The only thing I could say was, "I totally missed that. I was a little distracted. And not looking at his accessories. Or at least not his jewelry."

UPDATE: (8/23/09 7:42 p.m. -- TRUE BLOOD SUNDAY!) The necklaces are now available for purchase here for $185 with all proceeds going to Tails for Whales. Read the story from Skarsgard News here.

Playlists -- Bands with Animal Names: Part 2

And now the exciting conclusion of our 2-part playlist series, "Bands with Animal Names." (Find Part 1 here.) Here we go.

The Lineup:

1. "Wasting My Life" by The Hippos (Official Vid and Real Hippos -- Why are animals always more amusing when set to music? and Animated Hippos in Tu-Tu's -- "They don't unnerve me like they used to." ... For you Oz fans.)

2. "Teenage, Bats & Anthropology" by We Are Wolves (Live and Real Wolves -- With Pan flutes! Or some kind of pan flute-like instrument...)

3. "Lolita" by Elefant (Live and Real Painting Elephants -- More talented than me.)

4. "The Wedding Song" by Das Llamas (last.fm and Real Llamas and Murderous Animated Llamas -- Kaaaaarrrrl.)

5. "Lord Leopard" by Caribou (Unofficial Vid -- Animated and Real Caribou -- Fighting Grizzlies. If this happened in the music world, it would either be a lot less or a lot more exciting. I haven't decided yet.)

Video. "Let's Dance to Joy Division" by The Wombats (Real Wombat -- This is sad and cute at the same time.)

Playlists -- Bands with Animal Names: Part 1

Tonight's playlist is inspired by the band, Fruit Bats which I saw on WXPN's My Morning Download today. (They're kind of like The Swimmers meets The Meligrove Band, if you need a frame of reference.) There is a certain problem when looking for videos for bands with animal names. You're looking for this and you find this. But AAAAWWWW. Maybe it's not a problem. Just because that was so much fun and kuuuuuute (I thank Chris Leavins for that one.) I'll link a corresponding animal video with the music one. Yay for confusion! I'm making this a 2-day extravaganza, so get ready to be dazzled by some vids! This has to be my greatest idea EVER.

The Lineup:

1. "Library Sex" by Flamingo Crash (last.fm and Real Flamingos -- Dancing fools!)

2. "Cherries in the Snow" by Elk City (Official Video and Real Elk and his Dog friend -- Born to be wild!)

3. "Ex-Girl Collection" by The Wrens (Sound Only and Real Carolina Wrens)

4. "Good Arms vs. Bad Arms" by Frightened Rabbit (Live Acoustic in Philadelphia and Real Wheelchair Rabbit)

5. "Alligator" by Grizzly Bear (Live and Real Grizzly Bears)

Video. "Canyon Girl" and "Lives of Crime" by Fruit Bats